


By Any Other Name

by LadyGoodwin



Category: Actor RPF, Benedict Cumberbatch - Fandom, British Actor RPF, Doctor Strange RPF, Sherlock (BBC) RPF, Sherlock (TV) RPF, Star Trek RPF
Genre: Adultry, Angst, Cheating, F/M, Hurt/Comfort, Infidelity, POV Third Person Limited, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-25
Updated: 2018-03-10
Packaged: 2019-02-05 22:10:12
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 12
Words: 30,557
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12803445
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LadyGoodwin/pseuds/LadyGoodwin
Summary: “So, tell me something about yourself.  If you’re so inclined.”She sighed heavily.  “I’m not really inclined.  I’d like to be someone other than myself right now.”“OK.  Who would you like to be?”  He took a sip of his drink and then grinned at her.“Oh!  Now that’s a good question."





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> OK, listen. This is not for everybody. There is cheating between two married people. There are children involved. On top of that it's a RPF. It's like the trifecta of wrong. I know it, and now you know it. So heed the warnings. If any of that is NOT for you, please, please, please, for the love of science, read something more inclined towards your tastes and save yourself the unhappiness. I won't be mad. My feels won't be hurt. I just want you to be happy.

 

 

A low-level din met her ears as she walked into the bar.  Scanning the room, she decided, not unlike Little Red Riding Hood, there were neither too many or too few people.  Therefore, blending in and disappearing would be possible, without much threat of being bothered.  The place wasn’t one of those trendy bars where people come to see and be seen.  Instead, she found it to be a small-ish, well-appointed establishment, located among high rises that inhabited the downtown business center.  The clientele, in a word, was bland.  It consisted of locals having a drink after work, or maybe they were traveling business men looking to blow off a little steam with a good scotch and maybe a willing bed partner?  Probably both.  The important thing was, it had alcohol.  Lots and lots of alcohol.  

On her second pass of perusing the room, she spied someone leaving the polished, dark wood and mirrored bar.  “Is this seat saved?”  She asked the man who sat next to the vacated spot when she arrived at the stool.  He shook his head, only meeting her gaze briefly before tossing her half a smile and returning to swirling his drink.

“Thank you.”  She hung her sweater and purse over the back of the barstool.  Once comfortably situated, the bartender, a young, fairly handsome guy, came over dropping a white square, paper napkin in front of her.

“What can I get you?”

“Belvedere dirty martini, please.  Extra dirty.”

The bartender grinned at her, “Filthy dirty!”

“Porn star dirty!  Just when you think it’s dirty enough, make it dirtier.”

The man next to her chuckled, and the bartender laughed openly.  

“How many olives?”

“As many as you can fit.”

“Calling that dinner, are we?”

“What?  It’s fruit,” she defended, in mock outrage.

“Coming right up.”

Pulling out a credit card and journal from her purse, she set both down in front of her and waited.  When the drink was placed on the coaster, she handed him her card.  “Please start a tab.”

He tapped the card on the bar top twice and walked away.  The glass was frosty and cold. Little bits of ice floated on the surface of her olive green, tinted drink.  Taking the first sip, she let it sit on her tongue for a moment before swallowing.  _Perfect_.  She smiled.  The bartender caught her eye and raised his eyebrows in question.  She gave him a thumbs up, and he nodded and turned to another patron.

Her journal was plain, black leather, no adornments or anything.  The paper inside, a good quality and held up to her black, expensive fountain pen she kept in the holder attached to the book.  Running her fingers over the front, she let her thoughts swirl in her head until they begged to be let out.  When she was ready, she opened the leather cover, pulled out the pen and began to write.  She wrote like her life depended on it.  Maybe it did.  Certainly part of her happiness was caught up in it.  She wrote about her day, about things that needed to be done, about projects and people and when all that was out of her head, she wrote her thoughts.  All of them.  Whatever came to mind, she let out on to the page.  There were questions and a few answers.  If they were correct, she didn’t know, and didn’t care.  It just needed to get out of her head.  Fears and concerns about every aspect of her life were scrawled for pages, and once all that was out, she let the other voices speak, the ones you’re not supposed to listen to.  The ones that tell you everything wrong with yourself and your life.  The ones that are ruled by depression and anxiety and are lies, lies, lies.  No matter how true they feel, logically you know they’re lies.  It’s a strange sensation, letting those voices out.  

After those awful, vitriolic words hit the paper and had talked themselves out, she sighed heavily and shut the book.  She looked at her nearly empty second glass?  She looked down at the tiny plastic swords she kept to keep track of how many drinks she’d had.  It was her third.  Nearly empty, she downed the remaining liquid.  The bartender walked up and took the glass.

“Driving?”  He asked her.

“Nope.”

“Another?”

“Yes, please.  Thank you.”

When he returned with her new drink, he smiled as he dropped it off before walking away.  She took a sip and swirled the olives around the drink and took that moment to bask in the quiet of her mind.  Emptied onto paper, dulled by liquor.  Yes.  This was a good idea.

“Writing the next great American Novel?”  Came the rich, and accented baritone voice next to her.

She turned to the man who had been sitting next to her the whole time she’d been there.  He hadn’t spoken to her and, she thought, he’d not looked in her direction.  Apparently, she was wrong.  

She smiled kindly, “No one wants to read this shit.”

His eyebrow jumped up in surprise.

“Sorry.  That was crass.”  She sighed.  “No.  This is a journal.  I had a lot on my mind.  I thought if I got it down on paper, I could free up some bandwidth and work the problems.”

He nodded, the dark, loopy curls on his head swaying in the process.  Taking a better look at him, he reminded her of a song lyric.  ‘…dark eyes and careless hair…fashionably sensitive but too cool to care.’  Although, in this light, it looked like his eyes were blue, not dark in color, but maybe dark in emotion.  Actually, he looked like a certain English actor, sounded like him, too.  

“Very sensible,” he said, “Have you figured anything out, or was it just a purging?”

“Purge.  No answers yet.”

“I journal myself,” he half smiled, looking back down at his drink.  “Always have.  Thought I might write my memoirs one day.  Lately, it’s been a therapeutic exercise.”  

She watched him as he seemed to get lost in whatever thought that made his brow furrow and his full lips tighten.  “Looks like we’re having the same day.”

He barked a bitter laugh.  “Yeah, looks like.”  He picked up his glass and tossed back the remainder of his drink, wincing a little as he swallowed.

The bartender came over and took his glass.

“Put the next one on my tab,” she told him.

“You don’t have to do that,” Careless Hair said to her.

“I know.  I want to.  You’ll _have_ a nice thing happen to you, and I get to _do_ a nice thing,” she half shrugged.

“Thank you.”

The bartender nodded and left, returning with the new drink.

He took it with a grateful smile and turned to her with the glass raised, “A toast?”

She spun around the swiveling barstool to face him with her own glass raised.

“To our journals,” he grinned.

“To our journals.”  They clinked their glasses together and drank.

“So, tell me something about yourself.  If you’re so inclined.”

She sighed heavily.  “I’m not really inclined.  I’d like to be someone other than myself right now.”

“OK.  Who would you _like_ to be?”  He took a sip of his drink and then grinned at her.

“Oh!  Now that’s a good question.  Someone specific or just in general?”

He thought about it for a moment, “Let’s say specific.  Walk in their shoes.”

“Anyone?  Dead or alive?”

“Let’s stick with the living.”

Leaning back in her chair she looked at nothing in particular as she thought about the question.  “Princess Eugenie of York.”

His eyes popped open wide.  “Really?”

“Yep.”

He laughed.  “Why on earth?"

“Well, it seems to me, she’s in the optimal position of all the parts you want, none of the parts you don’t.  She gets to be royal with hardly any of the responsibility.  What’s better than that?”

“That’s a fucking great point.”

“Right?”

Nodding he held up his glass again in a toast.  “Right.”  The clinked in a toast again, then taking another drink.

“What about you?”

Chuckling to himself, he shook his head.  "This is going to sound terribly arrogant.”

She motioned for him to go on.

“I would like to be me.  Without some of the drama.”

Well then.  She was right.  It was who she thought it was.  Nodding she said, “I think that’s nice.  Very well adjusted.  I still want to be a princess, though.”  She took a drink of her martini and her companion laughed.  

 

Hours later, after childhood tales, discussions of binged television shows, favorite books, movies, music, and a last call, the bartender came over and handed them each their credit cards.  Leaving a generous tip for the attentive service, she signed her name and began to pack up.  A little wobbly from the alcohol, clumsily, she slipped off her chair and her new friend caught her.  “Alright, there?”

“Yeah.  Just a little uncoordinated,” she only half lied.

“May I walk you to your cab?  Make sure you get in OK?”

“Oh.  Thank you.  I’m staying a block or so down.  I was just going to walk.”

“May I walk you, lest you wander into the wrong hotel?”  He grinned.

She paused, carefully trying to deduce his intentions.  Unfortunately, the truckload of martinis she had downed was making deductive reasoning nearly impossible.  “You don’t mind?”

“No.  Not at all.  Walking alone in the city at night isn’t the safest thing you could do.”

She nodded.  “Thank you.”

Together they casually strolled out of the bar and slowly meandered down the sidewalk in the direction of her hotel.  There was no talking and neither one of them looked at each other.  Each, instead, glancing in different directions, taking in the city that had now quieted down.  

In the lobby of her hotel, they stopped and turned to each other, smiling and bashful.  “Well,” she started.  “Thank you.  It’s nice to know chivalry isn’t dead.”

“You’re quite welcome.”

Silently they stood again, with awkward glances at each other, rocking back and forth on their feet.  He looked around the area briefly, then smiled and embraced her in a hug.  Wrapping his arms around her shoulders, and she around his waist, comforted in the fact she fit snugly under his chin. They stood, in the lobby clinging to each other, when she felt her emotions rising to the surface.  It’d been a long time since anyone had been this nice to her.  In that moment, she realized how starved she was for just basic attention and affection.  Her emotions were bubbling up and she knew controlling them was going to nearly break her.  She desperately tried to hold back the sob that was pushing it’s way out, but was only partially successful and he felt her do it.  Instead of backing away, running from the emotional, crazy woman, he pulled her closer, softly assuring her she would be OK.  

After a few minutes, she pulled herself together.  She stepped back, and wiped her cheeks with her palms.  “I’m sorry,” she whispered.  “Too much vodka,” she smiled and chuckled up at him, in an attempt to lighten the mood.

He drew his eyebrows together in concern, “Too much of something else, I think.”  He reached out and brushed the back of his fingers across her cheek, wiping away the last of her tears.

She nodded.

She was startled when he reached down and took her hand, moving toward the elevators.  

Everything except her legs stilled.  This was a bad idea.  All the way around.  Really bad.  She’s married.  He’s married, with children!  This was one of the worst ideas to go down in the history of ideas.  Unless she’s jumping to conclusions and he was being kind and getting her crying self out of the lobby where anyone walking by could see.  If that was the case, that was again, one of the nicest things anyone had done for her in a long time.  What had her life become that basic human kindness was the high point of her day?

With the ding of the newly arrived elevator, they stepped in together.  She went to push the button to her floor, but was beaten to it when he’d pushed a different button.  She looked up at him in mild surprise, but his face was blank, leaving her to wonder if she should say something either way.  She didn’t.  Instead, she turned to stand next to him, facing the mirrored doors and waited for them to open.  The tension in the elevator both dropped and heightened.  His relief in knowing he wasn’t rejected, showed with his shoulders dropping the tension they held.  Now, however, there was a new tension.  What was going to happen once the elevator doors opened and the hotel room door closed behind them?


	2. Two

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Behind closed doors...

 

 

“Would you like a drink?” He offered once inside his suite, 

“No.  Thank you.  Water would be nice, though.  If you don’t mind.”

Nodding, he pulled a bottle out of the mini-fridge handing it to her with a smile.  Motioning to the couch in the plush living area, he invited her to sit.  When she did, she took a long pull from the bottle and set it on the coffee table in front of them.

“Better?”  He asked.

She nodded.

“Are you alright?”  Sighing at the loaded question, knowing it asked more than the superficial.  It asked about her physical safety, and exhibited concern for her emotional outburst, not to mention his worry about her inebriated state.  Such an innocuous question for such loaded answers.

Taking a deep breath, she looked him in the eye.  “I will be,” and that was the truth.  It had to be.  There really wasn’t another option.

Looking at her, she recognized the assessment of her word, trying to gauge if she were telling the truth.  He seemed satisfied she was.  He nodded once.

Shifting on the couch, he leaned back, then pulled her to his chest by wrapping his arms around her, and she let him.  His warmth and kindness, it was like drinking from a spring on a hot day.  His hands were soothing.  

Time crept on, and no one spoke as they sat in the comfort of each other’s presence.  With her head resting on his chest, she listened to the strong, consistent thump of his heartbeat, and it grew louder and clearer when it began to speed up.  He rested his chin on the top of her head for a few seconds, before turning to kiss the dark curls that adorned it.  Nuzzling around her hairline, he kissed her there, too, before kissing her forehead.  His warm hand positioned her head so he could, at last, kiss her, a simple, lingering, touch of the lips.  Never again did she think she would kiss anyone but her husband, but there she was.  His lips were so soft, and so different from the man she’d married.  When it was over, neither of them moved apart, and they kissed again.  This time deeper, tongues hesitantly searching for entrance to the other’s mouth.  When given, the world heated, and the pressure built until they had to stop, they needed air, and something else.  

Opening her eyes, she found him already watching her, looking over her flushed features.  “What’s your name?”  His voice was deep, a little rough and barely above a whisper.

She shook her head.

He understood.  “Well, what should I call you?”

She smiled, “Eugenie.”

Laughing, his smile lit up his face, making it all the more beautiful.  “I’m not calling you that” he said, his fingers grazed her cheek.

“How about Julia?”

“Julia,” he repeated, giving her another soft kiss.

“What should I call you?”

Julia knew who he was and the scrutiny in his gaze showed that.  The fact that she was willing to play along must have confused him, and he didn’t seem sure how to proceed.  After a few moments, he said, “Richard.”

She grinned, “Julia and Richard.  That’s funny.”

“It is.”

“Well just so you know, I’m not a hooker with a heart of gold, so don’t get it twisted.”

“Well just so _you_ know, I’m not a billionaire business man, with daddy issues.”

“Good.  Because I AM a billionaire businessman with daddy issues.  If there were two of us, that would be awkward.”

“It would, but since I’m a hooker with a heart of gold, we’re good.”

They kissed, slow and unhurried, reveling in the novelty of someone new and losing themselves in the pleasure of it.  When Richard slipped his hand to her front and palmed her breast, they both moaned at the sensation.  Pulling away, just far enough to speak, he asked, “Are you OK with this?”  as a whisper against her mouth.

After a moment’s hesitation, she nodded.

“I need to hear the words.”

“Yes,” was her breathless response.

When they resumed, it wasn’t hungry or needy.  There was no hurry, it wasn’t about being overtly romantic either.  It was about that moment, and when they began to make love, even then it wasn’t about getting off, although that certainly happened.  This was about a connection to combat loneliness, about being with someone who you knew wanted to be there, with you.  The two, immersed in giving affection for the sake of it, no strings attached, nothing demanded in return.  Emotionally impoverished hearts connecting and sharing a pleasant moment, forgetting all the pain and struggle in their daily lives, because they could, because they allowed themselves this acquiescence.  Dealing with the guilt of it could happen later, because however needed this connection was, it was wrong.  Yet, what’s one more bad thing to contend with on an already mountainous pile of bad things?

The second round, inhibitions were tossed aside.  They talked and laughed and played, including touching of every kind.  Grips so hard they left tiny bruises on the skin and kisses so soft they left a trail of goosebumps in their wake.  When things escalated to a fevered pitch, Richard would slowly bring them back down, only to work them back up into another frenzy, over and over until neither of them could take it, and finally took their release.

The third time, they would dare say was on the romantic side.  Hushed whispers of affection, and encouragement fed their lust.  It was gentle embraces and soft kisses with adoring words that left them spent and sated.  One might even go so far as to say at peace.

When Julia caught her breath and thought her legs would work, she turned to climb out of the bed, but Richard gently caught her wrist.  She turned to face him and the question of where was she going written clear as day on his face.  She smiled warmly at him, as he pulled her back into his arms.  “Not yet,” he whispered.  She nodded against his chest.

As she was about to doze off, she asked, “When?”

“How long are you here?”

“I don’t know, maybe tomorrow, day after.  I hadn’t really decided.”

“I leave the day after tomorrow, will you stay?”  

The deep rumbling sound of his voice as it resonated in his chest was relaxing.  Taking a deep breath, she thought it over.  The weighty decision was staggering, one night was one thing, two?  What was that?  An affair?  Oh god.

“I’ll be gone most of the day,” he said, “you’d have that time to yourself.  To…journal.”

Feeling her smile on his bare chest, he hugged her.  “Please.”

With that one plea, her heart crumpled.  When was the last time someone had asked her to stay and wanted her with them?  She couldn’t remember when she the last time she was appreciated, at least in some limited way.  There was a tenderness in the knowledge someone enjoyed being with her, and and she wasn’t taken for granted, like a piece of furniture or used as a target to hurl vicious jabs at, because they didn’t know how to express themselves like an adult.  It was a shame how easy it was making the decision.  “I’ll stay.”

“Good.”

“What time will you be going?”

“I’ll be up at five for a workout.  I have to leave here at about 6:30.  But feel free to sleep in.”  His large hands moved up and down her back.

“Maybe.”

He kissed the top of her head.  “Goodnight, Julia.”

She smiled.  “Goodnight, Richard.”

 

At 5:00 AM the alarm went off.  The two were still wrapped around each other.  Julia, curled up on her side, forehead resting against his chest, and Richard wrapped around her, his chin atop her head.  Taking a deep breath he groaned, before reaching around haphazardly behind him trying to find his phone to kill the alarm.  When he succeeded, Julia flopped over onto her back and he turned over on top of her decorating her face and lips with kisses, making her giggle.

“Maybe I should skip the gym,” he smiled, blue eyes sparkling, while burying his face into her neck depositing more kisses.

“Maybe.”  She wrapped her arms around his back to pull him closer.  “Have you been working out consistently lately?”

He chuckled.  “Not really.”

“Well, then.  I think you answered your own question.”

“Why start now, though?”  He asked, before kissing her deeply and positioning himself between her legs.

 

After their, “cardio”, Julia grabbed his phone and looked at the time, and showed it to him.  “You could probably still get in a short workout if you hustle.”

“Yes, Madam,” he smiled, then hopped out of the bed to grab his workout clothes.  Julia felt her cheeks warm watching him walk stark naked around the room.  “You’re blushing.” He helpfully pointed out.

“Well…” she blushed, more.

He dressed quickly, then kissed her.  “I like it.”  He gave her another quick kiss.

“Men do.  I’ll never understand…”

Grabbing his keycard, he headed towards the door, “Wait for me?”

“Sure.  Want me to order you some breakfast?”

Abruptly stopping his exit, he turned and looked at her.  A myriad of thoughts flashed across his face, surprise, happiness, sadness, anger.  It was a moment before he snapped out of it.  Walking back over, he kissed her soundly.  

When was the last time his someone offered to do something for him, she wondered.  Maybe they were having more than just the same day.

“Something I can take with me?”

“You got it.”

Kissing her, he smiled, and left.

 

“What are you going to do today?”  Richard asked, as Julia fastened the cufflinks of his shirt for him.

“I don’t know.  I was thinking about heading over to the beach and watching the water.”

“God that sounds wonderful.”  

She moved to start tying his tie for him as he smiled down at her.  She peeked up at him and tried to stifle a grin, which made him chuckle.  “Shut it, you,” she said as she pulled the tie a little harder than necessary.  “What time will you be done?”

“If all goes well,” she smoothed out the front of his shirt as he looked at himself in the mirror.  “Around five or six.  Very nice!”  He said, fingering the tie, smiling.  She’d tied a tie or two in her time.  “Know any other knots?”  He teased.

“Several.  Windsor, Half-Windsor, Bow Tie and on a really good day, an Eldridge.”

He raised his eyebrows, “I’m impressed.”  Turning, he grabbed his suit jacket that was lying across the chair and slipped it on. 

“As you should be.  You know, I could wait to go to the beach.”  Hoping her invitation wasn't’ too presumptuous, she tried to not nervously fidget.  Spending a couple of days hidden in a hotel room, and going out into relative public were two different animals.

Turning, he looked at her.

“I mean, it’s no biggie.  I could get us some dinner, we could grab some blankets and stuff and eat on the cooling, sun-warmed sand, and watch the waves ebb and flow, see if the water has any of those answers we’re looking for.” She waved her hands around, wistfully attempting to make light of the invitation.

Richard pulled her into a warm embrace.  “That would be amazing.  If you don’t mind sharing your spot with me.”

“I’d be honored.  I have to warn you, though,” she pulled back, looking up at him, “There’s like a million stairs to walk down to get to it.  Which means there are a million stairs to walk back up.  It’s a workout.”

“Bring it on.”  Reaching over he grabbed his phone from the dresser.  “What’s your number?  I’ll keep you posted on my timetable.”  He unlocked his phone and looked up to find Julia looking at him a bit shocked.

“Uh.  Right. Um.”  She rattled off her number to him.  “I never call myself,” she chuckled, trying in an unsuccessful bid to cover her surprise and hesitation.  He was kind enough to let it go.  A few seconds later, her phone buzzed.  Grabbing it out of her purse, she opened the text he sent and replied back with a winking face.  Giggling to herself, she stored his name as Pretty Woman and decided to get the song as a ringtone for him.  

“What did you do?”

She held up the phone to show his contact info and he barked in laughter.  

“Fine.  I’m going to add you in as Stuckey.”

“I’m good with that.”

Walking over, he gave her another long, slow kiss, the wonderful kind you get lost in.  “Be kind to yourself today,” he murmured once the kiss ended.

Julia nodded.  “I’ll try.”

His hands went to her face and he looked into her eyes as he stroked her cheekbones.  “See you tonight.”

She nodded.  He gave her one final kiss before grabbing his breakfast and leaving for the day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the delay, it's been a busy week. Hopefully the posts will be more regular!


	3. Three

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Introspection. Pretty Woman Jokes. Picnic on the beach.

 

The first part of the day, for Julia, she spent in quiet reflection out on the small balcony of her room.  There were still more questions than answers.  Questions of therapy for her, which she was in, but maybe the focus needed changing and she needed a new one for that, therapy for him and whether or not he’d be inclined to go, and if not, should that be a hard limit, and therapy for the both of them.  Honestly, that idea didn’t appeal to her.  She’d been with him long enough to be fully cognizant that anything said in couples therapy, would come back and be used as a weapon later if an argument happened.  He was a master at taking her words and turning them around to use against her.  Not being a fighter, and a strong dislike, maybe even fear, of confrontation, would send her into a panic.  The whole fight or flight mechanism would kick in eventually, but being so taken aback, she was unable to do either.  She didn’t fight that way, she didn’t fight dirty.  She didn’t really fight at all.  She’d go away, look at the situation and come back to talk about it in a civilized adult manner.  Obviously he never had adult behavior modeled for him.  Ultimately that didn’t matter, she hadn’t had adult behavior modeled for her either, and she managed to figure it out, with the help of a therapist, of course. 

Why was she still with him?  That was the elephant-sized question in the room.  He wasn’t all bad.  Things like this last fight only happened occasionally.  The fighting wasn’t constant.  Ignoring it was hard, though, the last fight they had, she hadn’t backed down and neither had he and it did substantial damage to their relationship.  Was it beyond repair?  Perhaps not.  Would it take a lot of work to fix it and for her to regain the trust?  Absofuckinglutely.  The most probable reason this last fight was so bad, was he could feel that she wasn’t playing ball anymore, and had stepped back emotionally, a bit.  So, to counteract, his drastic accusations and digs that hit at the base of their entire marriage, was enough to send her away for a couple of days to figure things out.  That’s how she ended up at the hotel.  Why she ended up in someone else’s bed, she wasn’t sure.  

There was definitely some guilt bubbling up about the encounter, but, not as much as she thought.  In a few days, that might change.  Here she was isolated and in a bubble, so this didn’t feel like real life.  After thinking about it, she supposed it wasn’t that big of a mystery how she’d slept with someone else.  She’d felt unseen, and unimportant.  Truth be told, she had felt this way for a while, but brushed it off, ignored it, sure it was just her and her insecurities.  Well, that didn’t happen in a vacuum.  How bad it had become, she hadn’t realized.  Sure she should have spoken up, but that’s not her forte.  Having been rejected any number of times, putting yourself out there is scary.  And yes, it shouldn’t be with your partner, but there it is.  How did it get to be like this?  When did they get so distant?  This wasn’t something that happened in a month or two, this was obviously a slow-growing fissure.

Tired of listening to her own whiney thoughts, Julia grabbed her purse and sunglasses and headed out.  Finding a gourmet deli in the area, she bought a selection of meats, cheeses, bread, vegetables, and fruit, along with some wine two plastic glasses and a bag to carry it all.  During her shopping, her phone buzzed and she quelled a feeling of dread.  When she saw it was Richard she smiled.  On the screen read 

 

**Pretty W.:** Knock knock

**Julia:** Who’s there?

**Pretty W.:** Idaho

**Julia:** Idaho who?

**Pretty W.:** Idaho! Where da John? 

 

Julia groaned a the not so subtle Pretty Woman Joke.

 

**Julia:** How long did it take you to find that joke on the internet

**Pretty W.:** Surprisingly not that long.  What are you doing?

**Julia:** Shopping 

**Pretty W.:** Retail therapy

**Julia:** More like dinner for us

**Pretty W.:** I’m looking forward to it.  I seem to be running on time for a change.

**Julia:** Oh?

**Pretty W.:** I usually talk too much.  I’ve kept it brief today.  Everyone seems pleased.

**Julia:** LOL.  I bet.  

**Pretty W.:** Hey!

**Julia:** I’m just saying, everyone probably wants to go home early.

**Pretty W.:** If you say so.  I’ll let this one slide.

**Julia:** Thank you for your benevolence.

**Pretty W.:** My pleasure.  Well, off to the next.  I’ll be back around 5:30.

**Julia:** Call me when you get in.

**Pretty W.:** ;-)

True to his word, Richard called her when he got back to his room.  A few minutes later, Julia knocked on his door.  “Land Shark.”

The door opened, revealing his smiling face.  “Wow,” he laughed.  “That was a throwback.”

“Yep.”

Swinging the door open wider, he gestured her in.  Carrying in the bag full of food and an  her extra blanket, pillow, and towel, she dropped it on the table.  

“You seem prepared.”

“I am.  I think you’ll need to bring your extras too.  It’s likely to be pretty chilly.”

“If you wouldn’t mind grabbing them, I’ll go get my shoes and jacket.”  

As he walked away, she noticed his stocking feet.  Something about it struck her as endearing and she grinned.  “I’m on it.”

With everything gathered, they made their way down to Julia’s car and headed off.  The drive was pleasant and relaxed and Julia pointed out what few interesting things there were on their route.  Once at the beach, they grabbed all their gear and made their way through the crack in the bluffs to an opening where the stairs were located, about 80 feet up, and there were, “How many stairs?” Richard asked, looking down.

“151.”

“Alright.”  Hiking their supplies up on their shoulders, they started down.  At the bottom, he turned to her, “That is going to be a nightmare going back up.”

“I warned you.  We can take it slow, you know.  If it’s just too much for ya.”  

“Oi!  Enough out of you.  I’ll be just fine.”

“I dunno, you've been skipping your workouts…”

He took a playful step towards her, and she jumped just out of his reach trotting down the beach in front of him, catching up when she stopped.

“Here OK?”

“Sure.”

Spreading out the blankets, they set themselves up for a cozy picnic as the sun began to drop below the horizon.  “To peace,” Richard said, holding up his plastic glass.

“To peace.” Tapping her matching glass to his, it made a dull click and they took a sip.  Eating in what light was left, they moved everything out of the way and sat shoulder to shoulder, leaning against each other.  Richard picked up the spare blanket and wrapped it around the two of them.

“How was your day?”  He asked after the sun had long since dropped out of sight.

“It was…a day.”

“Did you come to any conclusions?”

Pulling her knees up under her chin she sighed, wrapping her arms around her legs.  “Some.  Kind of.  But not really.”

“Care to talk about it?”

“There's not much to say, I don’t think.  I have to make my own happiness.  I can’t be dependent on others for it.  I can’t stand back and watch and then be sad I’m not included.  I have a few good friends, but they live in other parts of the country.  I need to make new friends and surround myself with people like…” she paused thinking.  “Well, people like you.”

He turned to look at her and she shifted her head so her cheek rested on her knees rather than her chin.  A grin began to spread across his face..

“Not like that!”  She bumped him with her shoulder.  “Geeze!”

He laughed at her.

“I mean, people who are fun, and easy and aren’t emotional vampires.  People who aren’t even neutral.  I need to be around positive people, fun, good and kind.  People, where, you make each other better.”  Looking back out over the water, she took a deep, cleansing breath of the salty, ocean air.  “I guess I need to start finding things to do.  Maybe join some community things.  Find a hobby or a club or something.”

"That sounds like a good idea.  And your marriage?"

Closing her eyes, she dropped her forehead onto her knees.  “I don't know.  Some conversations need to happen.  I guess depending on what's said, will determine what I do.”  The surrounding darkness and the crashing of the ocean gave her comfort in their concealment, like a further extension of their bubble.  “At least if I have friends and a support system set up, it won’t be so lonely and I'll have people if it goes south.”  The irony of her current desire for isolation wasn’t lost when compared to her future needs.

“We never thought we’d be here, did we?”

“No.”  They both listened to the water crash on the shore.  A few hundred yards down, a small bonfire could be seen with several dark shadows moving around it.  “Do you know what you’re going to do?”

Julia thought she heard the slight scratching sound of his stubble as he brought his hands up and swiped over his face a couple of times.  “I don’t know.  We don’t love each other.  I don’t think we ever did.  We used to like each other, when she got pregnant.  I thought we could make a go of it.  Sometimes it’s OK.  But it’s pretty empty most of the time.  When we’re together, it feels like most times, she’d rather be somewhere else.”

“I’m sorry.”

“Thank you.”  This time, he gently bumped her.  “The kids are breathtaking, though.  I don’t regret them.  Not at all.”

Hearing men talk lovingly about their children always made Julia smile.  “Silver lining.”

“Yes.  To say the very least.  Do you have any kids.”

She shook her head no.

“Do you mind if I ask why?”

“Just hasn’t happened for us.”

“So you tried?”

“And failed.”

“I’m sorry.”

“Thanks.  Me too.”  She took in a deep breath and blew it out in a huff.  “Silver lining.  The money I’d spend on a child and education, I’ll use to buy sports cars and vacations.”

Turning, he acknowledged her sad smile with one of his own.  There was nothing to say so he nodded.

Richard leaned in and she met him halfway for a soft kiss.  They stopped briefly to rearrange themselves, laying Julia beneath him and covering them both with the blanket.  His hands wound in her dark hair as hers searched all of him they could find.  His kisses migrated along her face to her ear, “Have you ever made love on a beach?”  He asked, his hot breath tickling her ear, a stark contrast to the cool ocean air.  Taking the lobe into his mouth with a gentle suck and a nip of his teeth, made Julia shiver.

“No.”

“Good,” he kissed her mouth again, “Don’t.  It’s awful.  Sand gets everywhere, and I mean everywhere.”

Her whole body shook with laughter at his advice, it was so not what she was expecting him to say.  “Well,” she started after she recovered, “I haven’t really done it anyplace noteworthy, so…”

He rubbed his nose against hers, “Oh yeah?  Where’s the strangest?”

“In a tent, camping.”

“Jul-” He stopped.  “That’s hardly strange.”

“I told you.  My sexual experiences list is pretty wimpy.”

His eyes roamed over her face, “God do I want to help you change that.”

“I bet you do.”

“Well, now I have all sorts of questions.”

She covered her face and laughed.  “Nooooo.  Please no.”

“OK.  But promise me, one day we’ll have this conversation.”

“OK.  I promise.  But I will say, I’ve never made out with someone at the beach before.”

His head popped up a little further, his eyebrows raised, “Really?”

“Really."

"Not even when you were a teenager?”

“Nope.”

“Well, then, let’s fix that, shall we?”

Julia nodded.

It was late by the time the make-out session begrudgingly came to an end.  Gathering up their belongings, they made the brutal trek up the stairs to the parking lot.

 

Once back at the hotel, they barely got inside Richard’s room before he was all over her.  All that making out, it seemed, had him in quite the state.  Once their frantic coupling ended, they began again, this time slowly and sensually.  As he slowly, torturously worked himself in and out of her, he took her face in his hands and rested his forehead on hers.  She was close, so close to her climax, it was maddening.  “Please,” he breathed, “Please tell me your name.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry! Sorry! Sorry! I wanted this up Saturday! I got caught up in trying to edit it. I suck at editing. If you know any tips or tricks, I'd be happing to use them!!


	4. Four

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Names, Dates and 300 thread count sheets.

 

Opening her eyes, she found a look of desperation to know her in his.  That and the struggle of holding himself back sent her over the edge, taking him with her.  They both cried out, but neither of their names.  It wasn’t until they had calmed and could breathe easily again, that she turned over on her side to face him, and he did the same.  “My name, is Vivian.  Vivian Sanders.”

He smiled.  “Really?”

She nodded.  “Scouts honor.”

He laughed.  “No wonder the Pretty Woman thing.”

“Yeah.  I got a lot of ribbing.  And yours?”

Startled at her question, he looked at her for a good, long while before answering.  “Ben.”

She smiled.  “Ben.  Nice to meet you, Ben.”

“Nice to meet you, too, Vivian.”

Pursing her lips, she hmmmed.  “Yeah.  I don’t like it.  I’m gonna still call you Richard.”  She nodded in confirmation.

Stunned, not sure if she was serious or not, he blinked at her, then burst out laughing, rolling over onto his back, and covering his face while she watched on in delight.  When he recovered himself, he rolled back over, pinning her underneath him.  After a kiss, he said, “I’m glad I met you.”

“Ditto.”

 

The two of them sat on the bed next to each other, not talking.  For the first time in two days, it was awkward, and Vivian didn’t know why.  Reality maybe?  Rubbing her palms on her jean-clad thighs, she stood up.  Immediately, Ben stood too, and maybe, subconsciously, stepped in front of her, blocking her exit.  

“So,” she said.

“So.”

Each of them chuckled self consciously.  

“Thank you for the best weekend I’ve had in months,” Ben took her hands.

“Thank you.  I feel the same.  Would you do me a favor?”  

“Anything.”

Not wanting to look up at Ben for fear of him seeing the emotions whirling around inside through her eyes, she instead focused on an eye level, pale blue, button.  “Would you shoot me a text when you get to wherever it is you’re going so I know you arrived OK?”

The gratitude and warmth he felt showed in his smile she could see out of her periphery.   When she finally found the courage to look up, she had to smile as well.

“Absolutely.  But!  You have to do me two favors,” he grinned.

She raised an eyebrow, “Oh, really?”

Nodding in agreement, he countered, “You have to do the same.”  With his eyes full of sparkling mischief, he added,  “Plus, you have to let me know how you’re doing from time to time.”

“You first,” her voice came out as a whisper, as she felt the emotion well up.

“Deal.”  Pulling her up against him, he held her tight.  “Be good to yourself.”

“I will.  You do the same.”  After one final, heart-wrenching kiss later, he walked out.

 

Later at the front desk checking out, the girl behind the counter tapped away on her computer while, Vivian looked around the lobby, lost in her own thoughts, quietly tapping her credit card on the counter waiting for the bill.  She was pulled out of her thoughts when the girl cleared her throat to get her attention.

“Oh, right sorry," she said, shaking her head, to clear it.  “How much?”  She asked, handing over the credit card.

“No, ma’am.  I said you’re all paid up.”

“How is that possible?”

The girl shrugged her shoulders.  Then it dawned on her.  “Great.  Thank you.”  Gathering up her things, Vivian made her way to her car.  Once settled behind the steering wheel, she pulled out her phone.

**Stuckey** :  You didn’t have to do that.  But thank you.

With the phone safely loaded into the dashboard cradle, she began putting on her seat belt when her phone buzzed.

**Pretty Woman:** You spent no time in your room at all.  It was the least I could do.  Are you home?

**Stuckey:**   No.  Just leaving

**Pretty Woman:** This doesn’t count you know.  You still have to let me know you got in OK 

**Stuckey:**   As do you!

 

 

A few hours later, Vivian walked through the front door of her house, suitcase and shopping bags in hand.  Since she was so near the mall, she might as well, right?  Since Mark wasn’t home, he was still at work, she set about getting everything unpacked and stowed, and when she finished, plopped down on the sofa with her phone.

**Stuckey** :  Home!

 

It was late, after midnight, before she heard her phone buzz.

**Pretty Woman** :  The eagle has landed

**Stuckey** :  Thank you

**Pretty Woman** :  We’ll speak soon!

 

 

 

Vivian’s life fell back into the same routine.  When Mark had arrived home, he pretended like nothing had happened, acting as if he hadn’t berated her and made passive-aggressive jabs.  Yes, she should have confronted him and had it out, but she was tired.  Tired of the whole thing.  It would have turned into a manipulative battle that she was not equipped to fight.  He was a master at turning her words around, pulling from an arsenal of past ills, imagined or not.  Fighting dirty was not something she did, in fact, it was something she wouldn’t do.  She preferred to sit down and have a discussion instead of a battle.  In the end, it always turned out one of two ways; one, she caved and took the blame.  Two, she didn’t cave and wanted an apology, which she would almost never get, and be made to feel like a pariah in her own house, which would result in the first option, because she couldn’t take the tension.  So, no, she didn’t challenge him.  They just went on about their day like she hadn’t been gone for two days because of his inability to adult.

There were days she wondered why she stayed.  Well, because she loved him.  It wasn’t always like this, in fact, it almost never was, but when it was, it was bad.  She had the sinking feeling that she was like a frog in warming water.  She’d have to keep a lookout for that, ask her therapist for insight.  One day.  Right now she’s not ready to hear that answer.  Right now, all she was ready for, was peace.

 

 

~~Weeks Later~~

 

 

Pretty Woman: Knock knock

Stuckey: Who’s there

Pretty Woman: Vampire

Stuckey: Vampire who

Pretty Woman: Vampire State Building

Vivian rolled her eyes, and sat back at the desk in her home office.  

Stuckey: Are you trying to tell me you’re in NY

Pretty Woman: Very good!  Can you talk?

Stuckey: Sure!

A few seconds later her Pretty Woman ringtone went off.  Laughing, she answered it.

“What’s so funny?”  Ben asked.

“My ringtone.”

“What is it?”

“Roy Orbison.”

Ben laughed heartily at her sense of humor.  

“Well, now you know my secret, deep down I’m 12.”

“Aren’t we all.”

“How are you?”

“Oh, well enough…without your pleasurable company.”

“Flatterer.”

“I speak the truth.”

Vivian couldn’t help the grin that spread across her face.  “Thanks.  I miss you, too.”

 

Every few weeks, either Vivian or Ben would get a knock-knock joke.  It had turned into a code of sorts, testing if the other was available to talk or text.  If it wasn’t OK, obviously the response was “No one’s home” and that would be that for the time being.  As this progressed, the calls and texts got closer and closer together, to the point they were happening nearly every day.  As much as Vivian hated to admit it, they were her bright spots.  

After about four months, Vivian got a text from Ben.

Pretty Woman: Knock knock

Stuckey: Who’s there

Pretty Woman: Doo wee

“Doo wee?”  She mumbled to herself.

Stuckey: Doo wee who?

Pretty Woman: DOOOOOOO WEEEEEEE WHOOOOOOOO!

Stuckey: Ha ha.  Very funny.  Are you back in London?

Pretty Woman: No.  But, I’m going to be in San Diego for ComiCon and there is room for twooooo weeee ooooooo

Vivian stilled, looking at her phone in shock.  Holy shit!  Was he asking her to meet him there?  She didn’t know what to say and stared at the phone in disbelief.

Pretty Woman: Yes.  I’m asking you to join me.  Can you talk?

The phone rang immediately before she had a chance to text an answer.  “Hear me out,” Ben said, without a greeting.  “I’m going to be there for a week, for the Con.  There will be tens of thousands of people.”  Meaning she could blend in and disappear.

“Ben…”

“I know.  I do.  But I miss you.  I want to see you.”

“We could Skype.”

“Vivian.”

She rubbed her eyes with the hand not holding the phone.  “I don’t know.  I mean, how would I explain it?”

“You said you love Cons.  Come!  I’ll get you a pass.”

“So I just happen to come across a ticket for a sold-out event?”

“Say you entered a contest and won.  Ticket, hotel, and airfare.”

“I can’t let you pay for everything.”

“It’s part of the grand prize pack.”  

She knew he was smiling on the other end, and it made her smile.

It was tempting.  Oh good lord was it tempting.  A week away, at a Con with- shit.  What was he?  If you could somehow explain one weekend with a man as not an affair, this would certainly be classified as one.  Was she willing to do that?  One time could be classified as a moment of weakness in a time of emotional upheaval.  Deliberately flying out to someone?  That’s a character flaw.  She took a deep breath and exhaled.

“Tell me something.  Please be honest.”

“OK.”

“Do you want to go?”

She smiled.  “I do.”

“Then, please.  Come.”  A silence stretched over the line for a long few moments.  “I’ll get you a photo op with Chiwetel Ejiofor…”

“Really?”  She perked right up 

"OK.  I see how it is.  You’ll come for Chiwetel but not for me.”

“Obviously I’d come for the both of you,” she couldn’t let the double entendre sit.

“Not a chance.  He’d make me look bad.”

Vivian burst into laughter.

“So you’ll come?”

She sighed in resignation.  “Yes.  I’ll come.  What are the dates?”

 

 

When Vivian decided to give Mark the news, she found him at the kitchen table going through the day’s mail.  “Guess what?  I won a trip to Comicon!  All expenses paid!”

“That's great,” he smiled at her and went back to sorting the mail.

“Thanks.”  Rolling her eyes, she turned, and walked out of the kitchen.

 

“When you get to the hotel, go to the front desk.  I'll leave you an envelope with the key card and room number.  OK?”

“OK.  Got it.”

“What time are you getting in?”

“9:57 A.M.”

“I’ll have a car waiting for you.  Sorry I can’t pick you up.  I’ll be in meetings most of the day.”

“You don’t even have to do that.  I can catch a shuttle or cab or something.”

“I want to.  I can’t wait to see you.”

“Me too.  What time will you be done?”

“Not until late.  I have a dinner, but I’ll try to move it along.”

“Is it going to be weird with me in your room?  What will your people do?”

“I got you an adjoining room.  There should be no problem.  Just keep the common door on your side open, so I can sneak in.”

Vivian had a pang of guilt.  “OK.”

“What will you do to keep yourself busy?”

“I don’t know.  I guess I’ll decide when I get there.  Maybe some shopping.  See if any of the unofficial exhibitions are open.  Something.”

“Is that it?”

“What else should there be?”

“I don’t know, pine for me a bit.”

Vivian laughed.  “Oh right.  I thought that was understood.”

“Just checking.  I have to run, I’ll see you tomorrow.”

“Can’t wait.”

 

The flight went smoothly and just as promised, a man in a black suit held up an iPad with her name on it.  The driver gathered her bags for her and helped her into the car.  A mere 15 minutes later, they were in front of the hotel and he unloaded her bags, just as a porter came up to load them up on a cart.  

Walking to the front desk with the porter in tow, Vivian greeted the clerk behind the counter.  “I believe you have an envelope for me.  Vivian Sanders.”  Removing her ID from her wallet, she showed the girl.

“Of course.  One minute, please.”  She left the desk and disappeared into a back room.  A minute later she came back carrying a hotel envelope and handed it to her.  “There you go.”

“Thank you.”  Walking out of the way to let the next person have their turn at the desk, she ripped open the envelope.  In the envelope, just as he said, was the room key and a note with #1016 scrawled on it followed by a happy face.  Vivian turned to the porter, “Room 1016.”

“Yes, ma’am.”  

 

Once at the room, she opened the door and went in while the porter took her bags from the trolley and carried them into the hotel room’s bedroom.  When he came out he smiled, “Will there be anything else, madam?”

“No, thank you.”  She handed over a few bills and shut the door behind him.  The suite was lovely, tastefully decorated with beiges, creams, and golds with the odd accent of a dark furniture.  Dropping herself down on the king size bed, she moaned at its comfort.  No doubt it would be even more comfortable once she crawled into the 300 thread count sheets.

Now, all she needed to do was kill time.  Instead of going out, she pulled out her laptop to get some work done since she’d be playing hooky for a few days.  Well, not exactly since she did work for herself, but there was always something to do.  Opting for an early dinner, she went downstairs to the grill and enjoyed people watching.  About 8:00 she got a text from Ben saying dinner was pushed to 8:30 and it would be a while.  Assuring him it was no problem, Vivian took a ridiculously long, scalding hot shower and climbed into the most comfortable bed she’d been in, in an age.  Remote in hand, she found a movie and proceeded to watch it, in as much as watching means pass right out.  

 

Fingers gently brushed along her arm and hip, gently waking her.  Opening her eyes, she turned her head a bit, to Ben silhouetted against the blue light of the TV.  She smiled.

"Hi."

"Hi."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoy this. Let me know if you do...or don't. Constructive criticism is awesome.


	5. Five

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Comicon.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You guys! I am sooooooooo sorry for being soooooo late! The holidays snuck up on me, then! THEN! I got THE WORST case of food poisoning I have ever had. I'm still not 100% There was a group of 10 of us, 7 of us got it. One of the ones who didn't, called the health inspector and the place got nailed. They were violating all kinds of shit in the kitchen. Anyway, I'm up and around again. So here is the next little bit!

 

 

"Nice to see you," he chuckled.

"It's nice to be seen," she turned over and stretched, "And now that you've seen me, I guess my work here is done and I can go home."  Vivian started to sit up and was promptly pounced upon.

"I don't think so," he said, smiling, after a loud smacking kiss on the lips.  

 

After their lovemaking, they lay in bed, naked, and curled up with each other, slowly coming down.  Vivian’s eyes followed her fingers, as they drew little patterns on his chest, while he made lazy doodles on the soft skin of her hip.  

"What's your day like tomorrow?"  She asked.

He took a deep breath, "Well, I have a couple of meetings starting at 11:00 A.M., then it's over to the site for a rundown of the events.  Then I'm free."

She nodded.  "So, we sleep in, have breakfast in bed, you run off to be you and then later come back for dinner and dessert."

"That sounds like a perfect plan."

"Well, I am a project manager, so..."

"Too bad you're not in PR.  I could use some new blood."

"Yeah, not my thing.  Fascinating though."

He hummed in irritation.  She could understand why, well in the most basic of ways.  It had to be more complicated than her superficial grasp. He pulled her a little closer.  "I'll be glad when this thing is over and I can spend a couple of uninterrupted days with you."

"I'm looking forward to it, too."  Not just for the sex, but for his company.  It'd been a long time since she had clicked with someone so well.  Also, when he'd come back from his engagements, the tension in his face would slowly fall and he'd look so much brighter and happier, and she wanted that for him.  He didn't seem to get that very often, and it made her a bit sad.  "Nothing to do but not worry and be happy."  She felt him take a breath, "Don't you dare break into song," she said as she poked him.  His body shook with laughter, which shook her, in turn making her laugh.  

"Fine.  But next time I reserve the right."

"Deal."

Evidently, sleeping in was 6:00 A.M.  Vivian was not impressed.  Chuckling, he pulled her close.  "I have a beautiful woman in my bed for a limited time, I'm going to take advantage of every moment," he said, in between covering her with kisses.  Eventually, he allowed them out of bed and ordered breakfast.  After eating and indulging in the enormous shower, Vivian kissed him goodbye and she set off to fill her day.

When he finished his day, he texted her and they met back up to fill the evening much the same way they had been; having dinner in their rooms, attempting to watch a movie, before being distracted by delicious kisses.  

 

Vivian had, because she really had always wanted to attend the Con, devised a schedule to hit all the areas, photo ops, and panels she could.  The pass Ben had gotten her, was some sort of V.I.P. deal that evidently had magical powers.  Not only did it get her into the exclusive V.I.P. Lounge, it allowed her line jumping and preferred seating in any panel she wanted.  It was amazing and gave her extra time to indulge in more of the event.

When it was time for Ben's panel, she found a spot in the preferred section, as close to his chair as she dared.  When the cast came in, and the hall erupted in cheers and applause, Vivian found herself caught up in it.  Whooping and clapping along with the rest of the fans.  Ben came out waving and smiling, looking around the hall, and when he found her, he smiled and laughed at her fan-like behavior.  At one point, when they said they would take questions, she managed to get the mic, and instead of asking Ben a question, she asked one of the other cast members.  She didn't miss the look Ben shot her.  It made her grin.

The rest of the Con he didn't have another panel, but he did have photo ops and autographs the other days.  At the end of each day, they'd meet after his team left and she'd whine and pout about how bad her feet hurt and he'd massage them until things got...heated.  

When the Con was over, and his team left they fell into each other, relieved to not have to worry about someone finding them.  The first night of their remaining time together, Ben was on his side, propped up on his hand, looking down at Vivian, brushing the hair out of her face.  "I feel terrible about hiding you away in here."  The crease between his eyes return.  Reaching up, she soothed it with her finger.

"You're gonna need Botox if you keep doing that."

Smiling sadly, he cupped her cheek, "I would love nothing more than to take you out, take you places show you things, have experiences."

The weight of the sigh she released could have crushed them.  It was a long time before she answered.  "I'd like that, too.  But, that's not what this is.  That's not what we signed up for."

"What did we sign up for?"  His hand caressed her shoulder, soothing her and himself.

"We're having the talk?"

"Yeah."

"What did we sign up for.  Honestly.  I don't know.  I've never done this before.  Hell, you're the third man I've ever slept with.  I don't know what I'm doing here.  I sure as hell can't figure out how I got here.  All I know is, I want to be here.  I know I should be riddled with guilt, but I'm not.  I feel a little bad, but, nothing like I should.  And _that's_ what makes me feel bad."

He leaned down and softly kissed her on the lips.  "I know what you mean."

"So, now what?"

"Now?" He huffed and rolled over on his back, "What do you want to do?"

Staring up at the ceiling, Vivian half-heartedly hoped she’d find the answers up there.  She didn’t.  She didn’t need to look for them up there, she knew what she wanted.  What she wanted was to keep seeing him.  Plain and simple.  Even with knowing this is the scummiest of decisions, that's what she wanted.  She wasn't going to cave first, though.  Ben realizing that, obliged.

"I want to continue seeing you.  You make me happy."  They each turned to face the other.  "Is that," he asked, "what you want?"

She nodded.  "I do."

They both turned back over on on their sides and moved close enough to touch their foreheads together.  "OK," he whispered.

 

Saying goodbye was bittersweet.  It was goodbye, but only for now, promising to find a way to see each other again.  "Besides, I need to hear all about how you've only been with three men.  I'm fascinated."  He teased.

Vivan rolled her eyes.  "I'm sure."

“Quit rolling those pretty brown eyes at me,” he grinned.

“Fat chance,” she smiled back.

“You’ll text me when you land?"

"Of course.  You'll do the same?"

"Absolutely."

 

 

Over the next year, when they could get away, they did.  Mark, Vivian’s husband, would go away on business, and Ben would have a plane ticket waiting for her.  He'd be close by, and she'd go to him.  It helped she had the excuse of seeing her clients, even if they weren't always in the cities she was visiting.  It was on one of these trips, that Ben decided they needed to have another talk.

"I need to tell you something, I'm pretty sure you don't want to hear."

Vivian's heart stopped and she went still.  "Good or bad?"

"I think it's good."

She relaxed again, resuming doodling on his chest with her fingers.  "OK."

He repositioned the two of them so he could kiss her, long and sensually.  "I love you," he whispered against her lips.

"Oh Ben," she sighed.  "How can you love me? Do we know each other well enough for that?  A few stolen days here and there, phone calls and texts.  Plus, look at the kind of person I am.  I'm a cheater.  How can you love someone who would do that?"

"You're not alone in this.  This wasn't all you.  _I_ kissed _you_.  We're the same."

Vivian fell back against the bed looking up at the cream colored ceiling, willing her tears not to fall.  “Are you saying we deserve each other?”  Her voice cracked as she asked the question.

"Maybe."

She closed her eyes because she couldn't look him in the eye, knowing he'd see everything.  

"Do you love me?"

Tears welled behind her lids, trying to find an outlet.  Her fight to keep them there, failing.  Warm calloused fingers wiped them away as they fell. "Can you?"  He asked.

Taking a shuddering breath, she nodded.  "Yes.  I can.  I do."  The dam burst and she began to cry, falling into his chest.  He immediately pulled her to him and began to soothe her.  After a while, when she calmed, she spoke into his chest, "What are we going to do?"

"Nothing.  We don't have to do anything.  Nothing needs to change, no decisions need to be made.  Right now, all we have to do, is be with each other."

She nodded.  "OK."

 

 

Months later, Vivian sat behind her desk, tapping away on her computer, when her phone alerted her to a text.

 **Pretty Woman:** Knock Knock

 **Stuckey:** Who's there

 **Pretty Woman:** I think my wife is cheating

She paused, in shock, hoping it was still just a joke.

 **Stuckey:** I think my wife is cheating on whom?

 **Pretty Woman:** Me

 **Stuckey:** Is this a joke?

 **Pretty Woman:** No

 

"What are you going to do?"  Vivian asked, when he answered the phone.

"I have my lawyers on it.  We're building a case, so I don't lose my kids."

"Can she be building a case against you?"

"I don't think so.  No one knows."

"What if they subpoena phone records or credit card statements?"

"I think I've covered those tracks."

"Do you think she'll try to keep them from you?"

"No, but I don't want her using them as leverage either."

"Let's hope she wouldn't do that."

"What about you?  How's your marriage?"

"About the same.  I can't say I've made any steps to try to improve it, but neither has he, so…”

"Can you get away for a few days?"

"Yeah.  He's going to a music festival in a couple of weeks.  Are you free?"

Checking dates, they decided to meet halfway between them, since he was on one coast and she on the other.  

 

Walking into the nondescript room, she tossed her jacket onto the couch in the sitting room and made her way back into the bedroom, looking for Ben.  He'd been there, his stuff was around, but he wasn't.  What was there, was a box on the bed tied with a satin grey ribbon with a note card attached.  She smiled, dropping her bags on the floor and heading to the package.  The card in the envelope read, "This made me think of you.  See you at 9.  Love, B". She smiled even larger and carefully untied the ribbon.  Folding back the white tissue in the box revealed a scalloped, black bow and smooth silk strapped basque in super sheer black tulle decorated with intricate tattoo-style floral French embroidery.  The beautiful, barely-there bra had a padded silk quarter cup, while the boning and waistband were silk bound and would accentuate her curves.  It had matching panties, suspenders, and stockings to complete the ensemble.  The brand was immediately recognizable and her first thought was she couldn't accept something so expensive.  The second thought was how did he guess her size.  The third thought was, she'd better get to primping, because this little number left nothing to the imagination!

 

 

At 8:45 she had managed to maneuver her way into the complicated lingerie, and damn if she didn't look amazing.  It's funny how people see you, she’d never had picked this style out on her own, opting for something more subtle, safe.  The next big hurdle was posing herself in a sexy position.  "Oh god," she groaned, then looked around the room frantically, hoping to find some inspiration, but decided to try to position herself in a sexy display on the bed was the best bet.  She'd leave the inspired posing for the more seasoned seductresses.  Doing the best she could, she opted to prop herself up against the headboard, crossing her legs at the ankles, absently wishing she'd brought some sexy heels to wear.  Not one to wear a lot of makeup, on a whim, had bought herself a red lip stain, and decided that was just about all she needed, and a little mascara.

The sound of the door opening and shutting sent butterflies to flight in her stomach, and when Ben called out to her, made them all the more frantic. “Hello?" 

"In here," she said in a sing-song, come hither voice (she hoped).  Walking in, he stopped dead in his tracks.  "Hi," she smiled.

His eyes raked over her from toe to head and back again before he met her eyes.  "Hi."

"Thank you.  I love my gift."  She ran her fingers over the top of her stocking.

"Why do I feel like I'm the one who's been given a gift?"

 


	6. Six

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Here we go...

 

He slowly entered the room and walked to her.  His fingers, skimmed up her legs, barely touching, as he moved along the side of the bed.  When he got to the top, his hand moved to her face cupping it.  "Right now, if I could, I would take you away, take us both away never to be seen again.  Live forever with you dressed like this."

"Then let's pretend we have."  She'd never seen a man, so deliberately take off his clothes.  Not slow, like he was putting on a show, but with purpose, and she knew she was in for the fucking of her life.  She wasn't wrong.  He fucked her over and over again.  Different positions, different articles of her lingerie slowly removed until she wore nothing but the stockings, and then finally he removed those...with his teeth…before making his way back up her body to enter her again, and drive into her with abandon.  By the time he wore himself out, it was only a few short hours until dawn and Vivian knew, she was going to have to soak in the tub to relieve her aching muscles.  Going out and getting some cranberry wouldn't hurt matters either.  

They lay on the bed, head to toe.  Him sitting up against the headboard, her feet propped up next to him.  His hand caressed her under his dress shirt she had put on.  "How hard do you think it would be, to get new identities and move to a remote part of the world?"  He grinned.

"For me?  Piece of cake.  For you, much harder."

"Hmmm.  Maybe."

"You'd have to go somewhere pretty remote for someone not to have seen your fucking show.  Or any of the franchises you're a part of."

"I could do remote.  Could you?"

"I'm really kind of an indoor kitty.  I like running water, Internet and modern conveniences.  This is why I don't camp."

He chuckled.  "I don't blame you."

Lulled to sleep by gentle caresses, the next thing she knew Ben was picking her up and placing her the correct way on the bed and under the blankets.  Once he'd set her down, she took his hand and pulled him into bed with her.  Wrapping themselves around each other, they fell into a peaceful sleep.

 

 

 

Vivian sat on the toilet in her bathroom at home looking at the small piece of plastic with the unmistakable positive sign in the tiny window.  The first time she got the positive, she used the second one in the pack immediately and got the same results.  Convinced they were faulty, she went to the drug store and bought one of each kind and took them all.  All revealing the same result.  Pregnant.  Shocked wasn't close to how she was feeling.  After years of trying to conceive, tests, poking, prodding, shots, retrievals, and transfers all to no avail, she'd been diagnosed infertile.  Never would she have her own child.  Coming to terms with it took a long time and a lot of therapy.  Now here she held a stick that said the doctors were wrong.  She was pregnant.  

Making the soonest possible appointment with her doctor, she confirmed her results and put her at eight weeks pregnant.  Eight weeks.  Eight weeks ago, she'd been with Ben.  She'd also been with her husband.  Once home, she had a small breakdown.  Going from infertile, to pregnant, to not knowing who the father was, was enough to send anyone over the edge.  This was retribution for being an adulterer, karma coming in and demanding payment.  A week later, she came to a conclusion, and when she did, she called Ben and made plans to meet up as soon as possible.  

 

Vivian planned for three days with Ben.  The first two were spent selfishly getting her fill of him.  Knowing this was the last time they'd be together, maybe forever was breaking her heart.  She'd talked herself in and out of leaving him countless times.  Back and forth she debated on telling him she was pregnant but knew that would open up a new can of worms.  Telling him would result in a can of worms so epic, there would not be enough fish in the world to handle it.  

Their last day together, they slow danced in the middle of their hotel room to a ballad on the radio.  Vivian made a note of it.  One day she may be able to listen to it again with fond memories though, probably not for a while.  As they swayed back and forth, tears silently slipped from her eyes.  There was no point in trying to hide them, so she let them fall.  When he realized what was happening he pulled back, "Sweetheart, what's wrong?"  

Between this heartbreakingly sad moment and her hormones, she was fairly impressed with herself that she hadn't turned into a blubbering, snotty, mess.  Setting them both down on the couch, he waited for her to pull herself together and look at him.  When she did, he saw it.  He knew.  She saw it on his face.  Surprise, anger, hurt, resignation, all flashed along with more she couldn't place.  "Why?"  He asked.

Looking down at her hands resting in her lap, she fiddled with her fingers.  "I love you so much," she choked out, "but I have to try to give my marriage a real chance.  All I'm doing now, is passing time until I can see you again.  It's not right.  I have to try."

"And if it doesn't work?"

She shrugged in a way that showed defeat.  "Then it doesn't.  We split, I settle into my new life."

"Without me."

She looked up at him, surprised.  "Would you still want me?"

He thought, looking at her hard.  "I don't know.  My knee-jerk reaction is I'll always want you, but I know that's not realistic."

She nodded again.  

"This is goodbye then?"

"Yeah.  Would you like me to leave tonight?"

"No," he shook his head.  They fell into each other's arms in a desperate need to hold on to what they were.  They made love all night, sometimes frantic, sometimes not, sometimes Vivian cried through it, sometimes his tears fell too.

When they stood in front of the door, Vivian's bags at her feet, they embraced one final time.  "I don't know why, but even before I knew this was the last time I'd see you," he whispered into her hair, "you'd never been more beautiful to me."

Vivian began crying again, and held him tighter.

"If it doesn't work, call me.  Promise."

She nodded her answer into his chest.  He held her until her crying stopped, and she reluctantly moved away from him.  Reaching up, she touched his face, "You changed me.  For the better."

"And you restored my heart,” he said, covering her hand with his,

One last time, they kissed and Vivian walked out.

 

When she got home, she planned how she would tell Mark.  Preparing a nice meal, she set the table, and found an out of season Father's Day card to give him.  When he got home from work, he was surprised at the nice meal, and in the middle of dinner, she handed him the card.

"This is for you."

He smiled, "For me?"  Taking the card he opened the flap of the white envelope and pulled the blue card out.  It read, "Happy Father's Day" on the outside, and on the blank inside of the card Vivian had written, "Congratulations!  I love you!"

He looked from the card to her and back again, several times.  Vivian tried hard to fight the enormous smile on her face.  

"You're pregnant?" He whispered.

"Yeah."

"How?"

She shook her head.  "I don't know."

"But the doctors-"

"They were wrong."

He stood and paced in a small circle next to the table.  She knew he'd be surprised, shocked even, but this was downright flabbergasted.  There were little pangs of hurt starting to poke at her, where was the happiness?  

"I don't know what to say."

"Are you happy?"  Then a terrifying thought occurred to her, "Do you want this?"

His head snapped up, from examining the card.  "Of course!  I'm just in shock is all."

"OK.  Well, you could start by saying you're happy, because I'm really worried you're not."

He walked over to where she sat in the chair and pulled her into his arms.  "Of course I'm happy."

She hugged him back.  

"How far along are you?"  He asked, after they took their seats again.

"Three months today."

"That's great!  Past the first hurdle."

"Well, I guess we need to start making plans."

They called everyone they knew and were met with joyful congratulations.  Parties and baby showers were planned.  Relatives scheduled times to come visit the new addition.  Vivian hadn't been this happy with her husband in a very long time.  As it turned out though, planning for the baby, was a little less joyful, and a lot more stressful. They clashed on almost every decision that had to be made, and the cracks in their relationship, were made even more prominent.  Attempting to talk through it, they went in circles until one of them would throw their hands up and walk away, to later pretend nothing had happened.

Very early on a Thursday morning, their baby girl, Julia, was born, 7.5 pounds and 20.1 inches.  Eyes brown like her mother's and her hair curly like both her parents.  Tearfully, Vivian said to her daughter, "Sorry about the curls.  I'll teach you all about conditioner."

Vivian hoped that once their daughter had been born, some of the stress on their relationship would be alleviated.  While some of it had, other things popped up.  There is nothing like a crying baby keeping you awake, to add to the stress in your life.  It was also pretty rough on the intimacy of a relationship, which Mark was downright petulant about.  This wasn't doing him any favors.  "You won't get any sympathy throwing a temper tantrum like a child, when there is an _actual_ child in the house!"  She yelled at his departing back one night.  

One afternoon, Vivian had put Julia down for a nap and was enjoying the few moments of peace she'd have by watching a recording on the DVR.  She had just settled in when Mark came into the room and stood off to the side of the TV facing her.  Looking up at him expectantly, she found him to be serious and frowning.  "What's up?" She asked.

He stared at her for a long few seconds, before he blinked and said, "I want a divorce."

She returned the long stare and nodded once, looking down at nothing.  “Why?"  She wasn’t surprised.

"It's not working.  All we do is fight."

"I offered to go to couple's counseling."

"I'm not going to a shrink," he bit out at her.

"And that's why it's not working.  Your unwillingness to try."  She bit right back.

"Whatever."

"Yeah.  Whatever.  I'll let you know when I have a lawyer."

Mark turned and walked out.

For too long she had been passive in the relationship  That ended the day Vivian found herself a shark of an attorney, knowing Mark would do the same.  Coming from money, the family probably had one on retainer.  When her attorney's office called her to make an appointment because she had received Marks divorce papers from his attorney, she knew it would be bad.

"He wants to what?"  Vivian asked, her voice loud and thin from shock.

"He wants to buy you out, essentially.  He proposes, he give you one lumps sum of money and you never have contact again."

She sat there with her mouth literally hanging open, while the attorney let her absorb the information.  "What about Julia?"

"He wants to terminate parental rights."

"Can he do that?  I mean if you could just do that wouldn't every deadbeat dad do that?"

"It's rare, but if both parties agree, then it can sometimes happen."

"I can't believe it.  How much do you have to hate someone to do that?"  Tears welled in her eyes.

Janice leaned forward on her desk, "Between you, me and the desk, his attorney thinks he's unstable."

Shocked Vivian thought over Mark’s tantrums and spiteful words.  Incidents of Intense mood swings and off the wall statements came flooding back to her.  "I _was_ a frog sitting in a slowly heated pot of water.  I never noticed.  I would just explain it away."

Janice sat quietly waiting for Vivian to sort her thoughts.

"I don't know what to do."

"You want my advice?"

"Desperately."

"Do you want someone in your daughter's life who doesn't want to be there and is unstable?"

She looked up, meeting Janice’s intense stare.  "No."

 

The two lawyers went back and forth on the monetary settlement, and ended with a very large cash amount and Vivian getting the house and any proceeds if she decided to sell.  When they went before the court, the judge was not impressed with anything happening between the couple.  After a good tongue lashing the judge granted the termination rights and upped the settlement by two and half times, and looked to Mark, daring him to say something.  He didn't.  In the end it the whole thing took around 18 months to settle.  Julia was two and Vivian was tired.  It took another year before she was back on her feet and feeling normal again.  Well, feeling good about her new normal.  

Idly flipping through the menu on her TV, a show popped up that made her stop.  One of _his_ shows.  Reading description that included Ben's name, she was a little surprised by the depth of the pang she felt in her heart.  She missed him and the feelings she'd had for him, buried deep inside her, came rushing up to the surface and it stunned her into silence.  He'd said to get in touch with him if she and Mark broke up, but thought that he'd meant if it happened sooner rather than later.  Not years later.  She'd seen in some tabloid in the grocery store that'd he'd split from his wife, but they were still "amicable" whatever that means.  Should she call him?  Back and forth, in her mind, she'd thought about it.  Tossed the idea around and tried to conceive of every possible outcome either way.  She wanted to talk to him, but would he want to talk to her?  Of course, there was the Juliet shaped elephant in the room.  Was she or wasn't she?  It didn't matter to her, but it was selfish to everyone else involved.  They had a right to know.  There would be no escaping the backlash of that revelation.  Of course she could go on with her life, not contact him and live happily ever after.  Except, she _wanted_ to talk to him.  She loved him…still.  

 

After about a week of deliberation, she decided on talking to him.  Seeing him in person was preferable to calling if at all possible.  A little Googling on the Internet and she learned he was in the midst of a sold-out stage performance.  "Fuck."  A little more searching found an auction site that was auctioning off two tickets to a showing, to raise money for children.  Tapping her finger on the desk, she thought about it.  This was probably her only opportunity, and she didn't have any connections in London to finagle a ticket.  "Fuck it!"  Typing in an amount, she clicked the bid button.  After a week, she slid in under the deadline and won the tickets, for an alarming amount of money.  Since she wouldn’t need the second ticket, she called the charity and explained that she'd won the auction, and would like to donate one of the tickets back, as she wouldn't be needing it, and they could re-auction it off for more money.  They were thrilled.

The show was in two weeks, so in that time, she arranged her flight and hotel, including an appointment with the hotel spa and hair salon, arranged for her mother to come watch Julia for a couple of days, and did a little shopping for the trip.  Every girl needs a new dress to go to the theater in London to meet an old lover, doesn't she?

 

 

 

The seats were amazing, in the second row.  Once seated, she looked around at the people surrounding her, some of the faces looked sort of familiar, like maybe she'd seen them somewhere, but couldn't place where.  Other people, just looked like people out for a night at the theater.  Farther in the back, there were groups of women, excitedly fidgeting in their chairs.  Vivian wondered if they would cheer like fangirls when Ben walked out on stage, and it made her smile.  She could be wrong, there were other well-known actors in the play, brilliant actors.  The women could be there for any one of them.  

When the play started, butterflies flew around in her stomach and she had to take a deep breath to calm her nerves.  The story engulfed her from the first words, and she was surprised when it came to an end, time had flown so fast.  The audience jumped to their feet in applause, there wasn't a person anywhere who remained sitting.  A surge of pride for how well Ben had done, choked her up.  If nothing else happened, this was still a good night.

The cast came out and bowed in one long line, holding hands.  The theatergoers were on three sides of the stage, Vivian's seats were dead center.  First they bowed to the audience to the left of her.  Then they turned to face her section.  She tried to maneuver into the space between the two sitting in front of her to get a clear view.  The cast bowed and straightened, raising their hands in the air looking around at the people in front of them.  That's when Ben saw her and their eyes met. 


	7. Seven

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> London, baby!

 

All her blood went rushing through her body and distorted her hearing, as the adrenaline kicked in.  His face paled, even under all the stage make-up it was visible.  As the cast turned to the last section, the actress next to Ben gently tugged on his hand to turn him to the other side.  

After the cast bows, individual actors came out and took their turn claiming their adulation.   When Ben's turn came, the theater erupted in applause and he took it all in like a pro.  When he finally turned to face Vivian, he held up a finger in a wait gesture.  Nodding, she continued to clap until he left the stage and the house lights came up.  The patrons next to her began to gather their belongings and shuffle out of the narrow rows of chairs.  One gentleman gestured for her to go ahead of him.  

"Thank you, but I believe I dropped my keys and need to fish them from under the chair," she lied.  The man smiled and wished her luck.  As the last one in her row and one of the last people in the theater, the ushers eyed her and the few other stragglers to start herding them out.  The only thing she could think to do was, pretended to start looking for the imaginary keys she dropped.  

"Ms. Sanders?"  A voice asked her.  Looking up, she found a woman in all black with a headset and clipboard standing over her.

"Yes?"

"Will you come with me, please."

Gathering her things, she nodded and following the woman.  Her nerves began to jangle in earnest.  This was a fine plan on paper, but now in the actual execution phase,  she was having second thoughts.  The hope was he would be glad to see her, at least a little.  The fear, he would rip her to shreds on her temerity.  Prepared either way, she really was hoping it was the former rather than the latter.  

Looking around, she realized she hadn't paid any attention to where she was, and hoped someone would be kind enough to escort her back out.  The woman opened a door for her, "He'll be in in a minute," she smiled, a professional smile.  Once Vivian stepped in, the woman shut the door behind her.  She was pretty sure she'd closed the door quietly, but it echoed in her head like a cannon.  The room was a small dressing room with a makeup area, a couch, several chairs and a place to hang costumes or clothes.  Taking it all in, she noted small personal touches here and there.  A jacket tossed on a chair, shoes placed neatly under a clothes rack. On his mirror, cards, and a picture of his kids smiling.  They both had Ben's crooked smile and her heart clenched. 

The door opened and in walked Ben.  He shut it quietly as they regarded each other. Cautiously he stepped farther into the room and they circled each other like they were in orbit.  When they stopped moving, they did nothing more than look at each other.  Vivian waited for him to speak first, but it became clear he wouldn’t, so she'd have to break the ice.  This she hadn't really planned on.

After swallowing, trying to moisten her dry mouth, she took a breath.  "The show was wonderful."  In order to keep her hands from shaking, she held her purse in a deathlike grip so hard, there would probably be fingerprints left behind.  

"Thank you."

"Everyone was amazing.  I couldn't have been more captivated."

He nodded lightly.  They both stood staring at each other.  Vivian's nerves started to get the better of her, and she felt that undeniable feeling that if she stood there much longer she'd cry, and she wasn't about to do that.  

"This was a mistake  Congratulations on the play.  I'm sorry to have bothered you."  Turning to leave, she gave him a half smile and carefully put one foot in front of the other, trying to make it out of the door without embarrassing herself.  _Do not trip.  Do not run.  Keep your head up.  And for the love of everything, Do. Not. Cry._   As she got to the door, Ben finally spoke.

"Why are you here?"

She turned to face him.  "I wanted to see you."

"Why?  Why now?"

Squaring her shoulders, she took a deep breath and exhaled.  "Reader's Digest Version, I got a divorce, it took a long time for me to get back on my feet, and now I have."

His face held no expression, or at least one she didn’t recognize.

“I-I don't expect anything.  Honestly.  Well, maybe I hoped you'd be happy to see me, but I wanted to see you.  But if this is too much or you don't want me here, I would understand."

Holding her breath was one of the only things she could manage, while he seemed to be deciding what to do, the other was think, _please don't hate me._

"Have you eaten?"  He asked.

She blinked in surprise, not having seen that coming.  "Uh, no.  Not yet."

"Would you like to have dinner?"

She nodded, and she couldn't stop the tears welling in her eyes.  "I would."

"Are you ready for stage door?"  A voice called from the other side of his dressing room door.

“Shit," he glanced around like he'd find an answer to that dilemma on a cushion or wall or something.  "I'll skip it,” he said to her.

"No.  Don't.  I'm staying at the Corinthia.  Why don't you meet me there.  I'll order in and we can stay out of the lens of the paps."

"Are you sure?"

"Positive.  Just call me when you're on your way, and I'll place the order."

"OK."

She started to open her purse, "Let me write down my number for you."

"Did you change it?"

She looked up at him, "No."

"Then I still have it," he smiled.

The lump was back, and she nodded because there was no way for her to speak.

"I won't be that long."

"Don't worry.  I've got nowhere else to be," she smiled.  "But, could you have someone show me how to get out of this maze?"

"Sure." 

 

 

 

"I'm on my way."

"OK.  What would you like to eat?"

"Uh," there was silence as he pondered it, "Grilled chicken salad?"

"Watching your figure?"

He chuckled.  "Always."

"I'll see you in a few."

 

Vivian placed his salad order, and an order of fish and chips for herself.  Then the next question was, to change from the stunning dress to something like sweats.  Sweats would be comfortable, and casual giving off an easy going atmosphere.  It was also disarming, and if he wanted to lay into her, she'd feel remarkably vulnerable.  "The dress it is," she said to herself.  It would act as armor.  In it, she felt strong and capable.  What she did do, was take her hair down from the elegant structure on top of her head.  She had let her hair grow, and having it pinned up tended to give her a headache.  So, she took it down and shook it out, her curls falling around her in a bit of a disarray.  Smoothing it as best she could, she put it in a chignon at the back of her neck to keep it out of the way.  She also decided it would be a good idea to touch-up her makeup just a bit.  More armor.  

As she was putting on the finishing touches, a knock at the door startled her.  Well, it could only be one of two people, room service or Ben.  Room service usually declared themselves, so...  Taking a deep breath, she went to the door and opened it.  They both smiled at each other and she moved back out of the way to let him in.  She shut the door and he waited for her to walk past him as he followed her into the room.  They both stopped, she a good few feet away from him.  When she turned, he was smiling at her.  Clasping her hands behind her back, she attempted to keep their shaking from him.  When she did, his eyes slid over the front of her, lingering on her chest.  Immediately she realized her mistake, hiding her hands pushed out her…assets…  She quickly brought her hands back to the front.  

"Would you like a drink?" She asked.

“Please,” he smiled, meeting her eyes.  

She walked over the corner of the room where the bar was inset into the wall.  "What would you like?"  She asked, examining the bottles of alcohol.

"What do you have?"

"Well, there's lots of brown and clear liquor," she squatted down to open the small mini fridge, "There is also, sodas and juice and mixers in here as well,” she said grabbing a bottle of cranberry juice for her drink.

"Scotch or whiskey if you have it."

"Rocks?  Neat?"  She asked, pulling out a bottle of scotch, a bottle of vodka and two glasses.

"Neat.  With a splash of water."

"Coming right up."  She started making the drinks, taking deep breaths to try to calm herself, for fear that her shaking hands would spill the contents right out of the glasses.  Two warm hands found her hips and she was gently pulled back against an equally warm body.  As his hands slipped around her waist, she stopped what she was doing and leaned back into him, her hands and arms covering his.  She felt his warm breath on her neck, before his plush lips followed, kissing his way down until he ran out of skin, hindered by her dress.  Spinning her around, he pulled her close again and kissed her hard, his tongue immediately finding its way to meet hers.  Hands roamed and sought every area they could find, when one of his found its way to the back of her head, holding her to him, lest she try to move away.  This shouldn’t be happening, she knew they needed to talk before anything physical happened between them.  A _very serious_ talk needed to be had.  One that would change everything, and probably not for the better.  He felt so good and so right, though.  Her body remembered everything about him and about them.  It had always felt right with him, even though their situation was wrong.  There seemed to be a huge disconnect between her body and her brain, because she knew she should really stop this, but it wasn't happening.

Ben began to walk them towards the bed, and as her knees hit the mattress, a knock on the door, followed by, "Room Service!" Stopped them. 

"Ignore it.  I'm not hungry anymore,” Ben said, then kissed her hard.

"I can't just ignore him,” she said, in between kisses.

"Tell him to leave it by the door," he resumed the onslaught. 

Another knock interrupted them, "Room Service!"

"I'll be right there," she called to the delivery guy, slowly extricating herself from Ben's arms, and how it pained her to do so.  Walking to the door, she tried to straighten herself out and not look quite so mussed before letting the young man in and directing him to put the items on the table.  Surreptitiously she glanced around to find Ben missing, but the bathroom door ajar.  

"Will there be anything else, ma’am?’

"No.  Thank you."  Pulling a couple of bills from her purse, she handed them to him.  He was pleased as punch.  Apparently, tipping wasn't a thing in the UK.

"Have a good evening."

"You too."  

With that, he was gone and Ben emerged from the bathroom.  Removing the silver domes from the plates, the aroma of deep-fried fish and potatoes made her cognizant of her hunger.  Walking up to her, Ben wrinkled his brow, "Fish and Chips?  Really?"

"Hey!  Don't mock me!"  She pointed a warm chip at him, "The worst fish and chips here are better than the best back home,” she said, before taking a bite of the still steaming spear.

 

While they sat at the small table in front of the large window that provided a view of the city, they made small talk until they had finished eating.  

“So, divorced,” Ben said.

“Mmhmm,” Vivan nodded.

“What else is new?  Job?  House?  Car?”  He smiled, a twinkle in his eyes.

“Well,” she started, then picked the napkin up off her lap and dabbed her mouth, “I am a mother.”

“What?”  His shock made her smile.

“Yeah.  I had a baby.”

“My god!  That’s amazing!  But how?  I thought you couldn’t.”

“I don’t know.  She’s my little miracle.”

A huge smile lit up his face, “A girl,” he said, his voice soft and filled with affection.  “Do you have pictures?  May I see?  Tell me about her!”

Vivian grinned ear to ear, her daughter being her favorite subject.  “I do!  May I be that annoying parent and start from day one?”

“Absolutely!”

Jumping up from the table, she grabbed her tablet from the nightstand and opened to her album of pictures.  Scooting her chair closer to Ben, she handed him the device.  “This is Julia the day she was born.”

Ben’s head shot up.  “You’re kidding?” 

“Nope.”

“Was that your idea?”

Chuckling, she shook her head no, “Surprisingly not.  But of course, I agreed.”  The flipped through picture after picture with stories.  “She loves anything art related.  Singing, dancing, drawing, painting.  She LOVES to make up plays and put them on.  They make no sense whatsoever.  She even writes little scripts.”

His eyebrow shot up.

“Well, she can’t write, so she draws pictures.  My little screenwriter!”  The pride she felt could be seen in Vivian’s smile.  “They’re for me, obviously, since I need to know what my part is in the play.  She still has to explain everything to me, though.  But, she’s quite adept if I do say so myself.  I think she has real talent.  If she keeps it up, I’ll see about private lessons for her.  In any case, I’m going to make her take piano.  She has no choice in that.  I’m claiming parental power,”  she giggled.

“I approve.”  

At the end he asked, “How old is she?”

Vivian’s heart rate picked up its pace a bit.  “She’s almost three and a half. “

“That’s amazing,” Ben said, smiling down at the picture of the little girl.  After a few seconds, he looked up at her.  “Three and a half?”

She nodded, watching him do the math in his head.  “That’s why you left,”  He said softly, looking at her for confirmation.  

She nodded again.

“You were pregnant and wanted to make it work with your husband.”

“Yes.”

“How far along were you?  It couldn’t have been that far.”

“About three months.”

His brow furrowed in thought, “We-” he started and stopped.  “We were together then.”

“I know,” she said, her heart picked up speed and her hands began to tremble.

The look he gave her asked the question as clearly as if he’d said it.  _Is she mine?_

“I don’t know,” she whispered, faintly shaking her head.

His incredulity and outrage made her stop breathing.  “You don’t know?  You don’t know!”  He shouted and jumped up out of his chair, knocking it over backward making Vivian flinch.  “Jesus Christ, Vivian!  How could you not know!”

“I never had her tested.”

“Why the fuck not?”

“It was just… too much.”

“Did you stop to think the men in your life might care?  That they had the right to know!”

“Yes,” she muttered, her voice little more than a whisper.

“But still…”  The sarcasm was as painful a blow as the anger.

“I didn't want to open that can of worms.  I was afraid.  I knew it was wrong, but I couldn’t.”

Ben paced around the room, eyes not focusing in on anything, until he stopped and glared at her.  “That’s why you’re here.”

“Partly, yes.”

“So what is it you want from me?”  He glared at her, his hands on his hips.

“I thought you should know.  And if you wanted, I would do a paternity test.”

“And then what?”

She knew what he was asking.  Did she want money from him?  Which hurt, but wasn’t unexpected.  “Then, if you’re her father, give you the option of being a part of her life.  I don’t want anything else from you.”

“And if I don’t want that.”

“Then I’d understand.  It’s your choice.”

He started pacing again.  “I can’t fucking believe this,” he spoke into his hands as they rubbed his face.  “And if I do want to be a part of her life?”

“Then I’ll do everything in my power to facilitate that.”  They stared at each other for a long time.  Vivian wasn’t sure how long.  He stood looking down at her, every muscle in his body strained with tension, and his blue eyes nearly glowed with fury, but she stayed seated looking up, hoping he’d see her sincerity.

“I don't know what to do here,” he finally said, deflating.

“You don’t have to make a decision now.  Take some time, think about it, and let me know.”

He nodded before grabbing his coat and turning to walk out.  “How long are you in town?”  He asked without looking at her.

“I’m scheduled to leave tomorrow night.  But I could push it a day or two.”

He shook his head, more in disbelief than an answer.

“But you can take your time.  Take as long as you want.  Call when you make a decision.”

“OK,” he said, and began heading towards the door again.

“Ben?”

Stopping, he turned his head slightly, but not fully looking at her.

“You have every right to be angry, and I’m not asking you not to be.  I wouldn’t blame you if you never forgave me, but I want you to know, I’m sorry for hurting you.  What I did was wrong.”

He nodded and walked out.  

Vivian sat down on her bed and cried.

 

 

 

Three weeks later Vivian’s phone rang Ben’s ringtone, and her breath caught.  She tapped the answer button and held it up to her ear.  “Hello?”

“It’s Ben.”


	8. Eight

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it's a little late. It has been a busy week. I hope you enjoy!

 

> _**Previously in By Any Other Name...** _
> 
> Three weeks later Vivian’s phone rang Ben’s ringtone, and her breath caught.  She tapped the answer button and held it up to her ear.  “Hello?”
> 
> “It’s Ben.”
> 
> _**An now the continuation...** _

* * *

 

“I know.  I never changed your ringtone.”

The line was quiet for a moment before he spoke.  “What would we have to do to get the paternity test done?”

 

After a few phone calls and detailed instructions, the test was set up and all the needed samples got to the place they needed to be.  They’d know within two days, the verdict.  This must be the longest 48 hours of Ben’s life, she knew it was hers.  Truth be told, she wasn’t sure how she felt about the situation, and she was unsure if she wanted Julia to be Ben’s or not.  A great deal of her settlement from her divorce was based on the fact that Julia was Mark’s daughter.  Having no way of getting in contact with him, she couldn’t even ask his family where he was, because they didn’t know either.  If Julia was Ben’s that posed new problems.  No doubt a myriad of emotions that were likely to be hurled her way, which she absolutely believed she deserved.  The question was, would he want to be in her life.  If he did, how much?  How would they arrange it.  She’d meant it when she promised she’d make it happen.  After all, he’d already missed over three years of her short little life.  He’d never get that time back.  That thought alone would send Vivian into tears.  

The call came and she was given the answer, she took a deep breath and called Ben. 

“The test came back positive.  You’re her father.”

There was silence on the other end, Vivian figured he’d need a moment to absorb the information, but after a few minutes she said something, she gently asked, “Are you there?”

He cleared his throat, “Yeah.  Uh, I don’t know.” The break in his voice told her, he was fighting tears.

“You don’t have to make any decisions now.  It’s OK to take some time.”

“Thank you.”

“You don’t have to thank me.  I should be thanking you.”

“I’ll call you when I get my head around it.”

“OK.”

“Bye.”

The backdrop of Vivian’s phone showed a picture of Julia with a big toothy smile.  Sighing, she clicked off her phone.

 

 

“I want to meet my daughter.”

Vivian smiled, and sighed in relief.  “Of course.  Anytime, you want.”

“The play is ending in a couple of weeks.  I’ll have a stretch of free time after that.”

“Perfect.  Just give me the dates, and I’ll clear the calendar.”

“Would you come here, or should I go there.”

That was an excellent question.  “Well, It’s probably best if you come here.  It’s going to be a big change for her, maybe being in an environment she knows would be easier.  Would you be OK with that?”

“Yeah.  That’ll be fine.  I’ll make arrangements and let you know dates.”

“OK.”

“We’ll speak soon.”

“OK. Ben?”

“Yes.”

“Would you like me to send you some pictures and videos?  Something to tide you over?”

There was a long pause, then softly, and heavy with emotion he answered,“That would be great.  Thank you.”

“You’re very welcome.”

When they hung up the phone, Vivian scrolled through the pictures and videos on her phone, and immediately sent a few.  After she received a return thank you text from Ben, she went to her computer and started to go through everything having to do with Julia and making a file for him, wanting him to have everything she had.  Knowing it wouldn’t make up for the lost time, because nothing would, she felt it was something, the very least she could do.

 

 

A knock at the door startled Vivian.  Ben was due in today, but not for another few hours.  The plan being, he’d get to his hotel, check-in, freshen up, and then come down.  Looks like that plan had changed.  Listening for Julia, who was quietly playing upstairs, Vivian heard her humming to herself, and smiled.  Standing up from the couch, she went to the door and looked through the peephole.  Sure enough, there stood Ben, hat, and sunglasses on, and a stern look on his face.  

Taking a deep breath, Vivian opened the door, smiling.  “Hi!  You’re early.”

“I came straight here.  Is that alright?”

“It’s great,” she stepped aside and motioned him into the room.  “May I take those for you?” She asked, gesturing at his hat and coat.

“Thank you,” he handed her his things and she stowed them in the coat closet.  

Walking him farther into the house, she offered him a drink which he declined.  They settled down on the couch, conspicuously at opposite ends, facing each other.  “So,” she started, “I told Julia last night you were coming.”

Smiling, he nodded, “Smart move.”

“Yes.  I couldn’t endure weeks of questioning.  She already asks so many.”

“Did you tell her?  Who I am?”  He asked, as he looked down at his fingers, that were fiddling with nothing.

“No,” she said, her voice soft and a bit sad.  “I thought we should do that together.”

He nodded.

“Are you ready to meet her?”

It was a moment, before he indicated he was ready.

“Julia!”  Vivian called.  “Our guest is here!  Come on down and say hello!”

“Okay, Mommy!”  The small voice called back.  The next thing they heard, were her loud footsteps running above them, on her way down to the living room.

“I swear I don’t know how something so small can make so much noise.”

Ben chuckled, “It’s exponentially worse with boys.”

“I can imagine.”

Running that jarringly bouncy run that only small children can do, Julia came racing into the living room.  Her dark curly hair, bouncing all around her tiny head and shoulders, brought out her olive complexion, big brown eyes, and cupid bow lips.  Vivian, of course, was biased but, she thought Julia was a beautiful child.  She glanced over at Ben who had gone still in shock, eyes frozen, looking at the girl who looked so much like him, it was so obvious seeing them in the same room.  She made a mental note about the level of her denial.  When she grew up and lost her chubby baby cheeks, she’d have his high cheekbones and be a stunning woman.  Vivian reached over and squeezed his hand, and gave him a reassuring smile.  He snapped out of his shock and scooted forward to the edge of the couch, as Julia miscalculated the distance she needed to stop, and ran smack into her mother, who caught her with a grunt. 

“Sorry, Mommy.”

“It’s OK, baby,” she turned Julia to Ben.  “Julia, I’d like you to meet my friend, Ben.  Ben, this is Julia.”

Leaning forward, Ben held out his hand, “How do you do?”  He smiled at her.

Julia looked up at her mother, who smiled encouragingly.  Stepping over to Ben, and held out her hand, “Very well, thank you.  And you?”

Ben’s eyes popped open in surprise at the very grown-up reply, and chuckled as he took her hand and shook it.  “Very well, myself.”

“I’m four.”  She held up three fingers, and used her other hand to pull up the pinky.

“You’re a proper young lady, then.”

She grinned, “You talk funny.”

Vivian did her best to stifle a laugh.

“Do I?”  Ben asked.  “I think YOU talk funny.”

Julia giggled.  “No!  You do!”

“Yes.  You’re right. I do.”

Vivian leaned down to Julia’s ear and whispered, “Don’t you have something for Ben?”

Eyes wide, she took off out of the room, and returned a few seconds later, with a piece of paper flapping in her hand.  “I made you this,” she said, shoving it at him.  

Ben took the picture, “Thank you.”  It had three people, Julia, Vivian and what he supposed was him, all standing in front of a house, with Julia next to a horse?  “Is this me?”  He asked.

Julia nodded, curls bouncing.

“And, is this a horse?”

She nodded again.

“Do you have a horse?”

“No,” she sighed, and pushed her curls off her face, so totally exasperated.  “Mommy said no.  We have no place to put it.  I said if we got a smaaaaaaall one we could keep it in my room, but…” she shrugged.

“Oh, well.  Your mommy’s probably right,” he looked to Vivian then back to Julia.  “You know, I have a gift for you, too.”

Julia went wide-eyed and smiled, “You do?”

“Yes.”  He pulled a small wrapped box out of his pocket and handed it to her.  She immediately started to rip the pink ribbon of the pale pink, paper wrapped box.  Vivian looked at Ben and he smiled at her, a little shyly.  Once Julia had the paper off, she opened the box and found a small silver bracelet with a charm on it.  Her eyes went even wider with excitement.  Vivian didn’t think that was possible.

“It’s beautiful!”  She said pulling out the bracelet and dropping the box with the paper and ribbon to the carpet.  Ben scooted down to the floor and took it from her. 

“It’s a charm bracelet,” he opened the clasp and slipped it around her little wrist.  “You can add charms to it.”  He spun it around so he held the sole charm that was attached in his fingers.  “See this,” he held up the silver and red enameled heart.  “Think of this as my heart.  So where ever you are, you’ll always have my heart with you.  And whenever I go somewhere interesting, I’ll get you a new charm to add to it.  Would you like that?”

Julia nodded wildly.

Vivian had to get up and cross the room, lest her daughter see her trying to hold back tears at the loving gesture.  

“Thank you, Ben!”  She wrapped her tiny arms around him and gave him a hug, and he hugged her right back.

“You’re so welcome, sweetheart.”

She pulled back, “I’m gonna go draw a picture of it!”  She exclaimed, and ran off.  Vivian stood in front of the large picture window, struggling to pull herself together.  Ben walked near her, but stayed out of her personal space.  

“Was that Ok?”  He asked.

She turned to face him, tears fighting to fall.  She nodded, “Yes.  It was perfect.”  Losing the battle of holding back her tears, she quickly tried to wipe them away, laughing.  “Sorry.  Ignore all this.”

Nodding, he smiled.

The next several days were a blur of activity.  Ben came down every morning, they'd all have breakfast together and then either do something, the group of them or Vivian would make herself scarce so father and daughter could have quality time together.  One of Julias favorite places was the Bay Aquarium, so Vivian suggested Ben take her there.  The two came through the door after their expedition, carrying armfuls of books, stuffed animals, and wearing aquarium shirts.

"Well! Would you look at the two of you!  Did you have a good time?"  She asked Julia, who was perched on top of Ben's shoulders.

"Yes!  We saw pengwings, and jello fish, and sharks and otters!  Ben says people say he looks like an otter."

Vivian laughed.  "Do they?  Do you think so?"

She hmmmed, "No, I don't think so.   He's not as fuzzy."

"True enough,” Vivian agreed.  "Why don't you take all your new things and find a place for them in your room."

“OK, Mommy."

Lifting her off his shoulders, Ben set her down.  After handing her the rest of her booty, she ran off to her room.

"You'll spoil her,” Vivian smiled at Ben.

"Every chance I get,” he smiled back at her.

Vivian's heart warmed at his words.  Reaching over, she touched his arm, affectionately.  "Drink?"

"Love one."

She poured them two glasses of wine and they sat at the kitchen table.

"She's quite something," Ben said.

Vivian nodded.

"She was quite concerned about the animals being in captivity.  Or fish jail, as she called it."

Vivian all but spit out her wine in shock. "Really?"

"Yup.  I had to call over one of the employees to explain to her how well they were cared for and she didn't have anything to worry about."

"That was kind of them.  They probably get that a lot."

"Probably.  How was your free day?"

"Productive.  I got some work done.  Not much else.  You're staying for dinner, right?"

"If you'll have me."  He smiled.

"Of course."  They sat silently for a bit.  "Ben, I wanted to run something by you."

"OK."

"Now, please don't take this the wrong way.  I was going to suggest it when you first decided to come out, but you'd already made your arrangements, and I wasn't sure about where we stood.  I don't expect anything, I'm not asking for anything.  I swear.  But, uh, if you'd like, if you want, you're welcome to stay here.  I have a guest room. It's really comfortable. I used to use it a lot, so I fixed it up.  Then you could be here all the time.  Do mornings and bedtime with her.  Unless you don't want to.  You may need the break, this is all pretty big."  The words fell from her mouth in one long ramble.

He looked at her for a minute before he spoke again,  "You wouldn't mind?"

Vivian perked up, "No!  Not at all!"

"In that case, I'd love to."

Sighing in relief she took a big drink of her wine.  "Jules is going to be thrilled.  Warning, she's probably gonna wanna have a slumber party.  You don't have to do that.  Send her back to bed.  Besides, she's a bed hog."

"It is amazing how something so small can take up a king size bed, isn't it?"

"Breaks all the laws of physics."

 

The next day, Ben showed up with all his belongings.  Vivian and Jules showed him to his room, and Jules gave him the grand tour pointing out everything.  EVERYTHING.  She was very excited.  

That night, just as Vivian had predicted, Jules asked Ben for a slumber party.  He politely declined, but his resolve began to weaken, when she busted out with the pouty face complete with a pooched out bottom lip.  Ben almost gave in, until Vivian whispered in his ear, "Stay strong."

The next night she asked again and Ben agreed.  Vivian had the dubious honor, at Jules' request, to tuck both her and Ben in.  It was silly and humiliating and Ben grinning at her was almost more than she could take.  She "accidentally" hit him in the face with a pillow.  

"Hey!"

"Oops.  Sorry," she smiled, leaning over her to tuck the offending pillow under Jules' giggling head.  “Not,” Vivian added at the end in a whisper.  A pinch on her leg, made her squeal, “Hey!” And jump back, mockingly glaring at Ben, who was grinning a most evil grin.  

“Oops," he laughed.

"Oops my ass,” she mumbled.

"That could be arranged."

Surprised, she looked at him wide-eyed while he laughed.  "Goodnight."  She walked around to Jules and gave her a kiss.  "Sleep tight."

"Don't let the bed bugs bite,” Jules finished in a sing-song voice.

"Night, Ben,” she smiled, as she started walking out of the room.

"Where's my kiss?" He teased.

Blowing him a kiss, she turned and left.

 

The next day, Ben took Jules to the park where he ran her ragged.  In fact, she was so tired, that she went to bed on her own.  Early.  No one had to worry about slumber parties, that night.  Ben too was knackered and went to bed earlier than normal.  Vivian stayed up, having not gone to the park with the dynamic duo, and finished up on some chores around the house. After leaving fresh towels for Ben in the spare bathroom, she walked to his room to say goodnight and heard...crying?  Slowly she pushed open the door, "Ben?"

Sitting on the bed, with his back to the door, he didn't respond.  She came in and sat down next to him.  "What's wrong?" She laid a hand on his shoulder. 

“I've missed so much,” his trembling voice shattered her heart.

Reaching over, she pulled him to her.  Wrapping their arms around each other, he cried into her shoulder.  "I'm so sorry, Ben."  Holding him as he cried, she gently tried to comfort him, while holding back her own tears, because she didn't have any right to cry, did she.  When he finally pulled himself together, he moved back and looked at her, “I'm sorry,” she said again.  "There's nothing I can do to make up for that lost time, but I will never, ever keep her from you ever again.  I promise."  

Quicker than her guilty brain could recognize, he reached over cupped the back of her head and pulled her into a kiss.  When it broke, she looked into his eyes.  "Ben, I don't think-" but before she could finish her sentence he kissed her again.  This time it was more.  More passion, more desperation, more need.  

When that kiss ended, before she could say anything, he spoke.  All he said was, "Please." 


	9. Nine

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the delay. Life, seemingly, is displeased with me. So, so very displeased.
> 
> Anywho, it's my birthday today (Feb. 9). So here is the next chapter, my gift to you for my birthday!

 

**Previously in By Any Other Name…**

 

When that kiss ended, before she could say anything, he spoke.  All he said was, "Please."  

 

And now the continuation...

 

 

When that kiss ended, before she could say anything, he spoke.  All he said was, “Please," his eyes darting between hers.  She nodded and they kissed again.  The kissing and touching and everything had been as before, only more intense.  There was so much need and desperation, between that and the kissing, it was hard to catch a breath.  When he finally slid inside her, and he sighed in relief, she knew what this was about.  Comfort.  In pain, he needed to feel good, if only for a moment.  Having caused his pain, this was something she could do.  She could provide him this respite, and that's exactly what she did.  

After.  After the frenzy was over and the desire quenched, they lay in each other's arms.  Vivian waited until his breathing evened out, and then waited some more until she was sure he was asleep then carefully slipped out of his embrace.  Taking the throw at the end of the bed, she wrapped it around herself while she looked around the dark room for her clothes that had been tossed, only science knew where.  When she spotted one of her articles of clothing, she started to stand, but a hand caught the back of her blanket. 

"Where are you going?"

Turning, she scooted back over to him.  "I was looking for my clothes."

"Why?"

"Ben.  I know what this was,” she smiled but was a sad smile.  “It...I just wanted to save us the awkwardness of you wanting me to go and having to ask.  Plus, Jules has been climbing into bed with me in the middle of the night.  If I'm not there, she'll freak."

His blank face revealed nothing, as he looked at her. 

She sighed.  "I don't want to you feel you have to pretend this was more than what it was."

"What was it?"

"Comfort. You were in pain and needed a reprieve.  I could provide that.  I was happy to do it. So, please, don't feel obligated,” she took his hand and gave it a squeeze, "OK?"

Taking a deep, slow breath and exhaling, he disagreed, "No.  It's not OK."

Vivian confused, furrowed her brow.

"We, have the worst timing ever.  Everything we've done has been in the wrong order or just…wrong.  And yet, here we are.  Still."  Ben sat up and leaned towards her, “Vivian, I never stopped loving you.  Obviously, we've changed since then, and we'd have to sort through a lot of bullshit.  But what just happened between us..."  He ran his hand down his face, before he reached it over to cup the side of Vivian's, and she let him.  "I want us,” he said.  "I want to try us.  Can we do that?"

Vivian was at a loss.  She would never have thought he'd ever forgive her for what she'd done, and here he was, asking to be with her.  "You don't hate me?"

"No." He looked at her in pained disbelief, his thumb brushing her cheek as he shook his head.  

"Shouldn't you, though?"

"I see it, Viv.  I see it every day I'm here.  I can see when you think about it.  The pain washes over your face.  I know you hate yourself for your actions, but...you did the best you could in a bad situation.  I don't know if I would have made different choices in your shoes.  I don't blame you.  I certainly don't hate you."

"You forgive me?"  Big, fat tears fell down her cheeks.

The hand cupping her face, pulled her to him until their foreheads touched.  "Yes." He whispered.  "Yes.  Of course I do."

Closing the small space between them, she kissed him, then wrapped her arms around his neck and this time she cried into his shoulder.  Thanking him between sobs.  Once she'd calmed down, she kissed him again.  "I'd love a shot at us."

"Me too."

“OK," she grinned, a huge smile that lit up her whole face.  Standing, she pulled the blanket around her and began picking up her clothes from the floor and putting them on.

"What- What are you doing?"

"Getting dressed."

"Why?"

"So I can go back to my room."

"Again.  Why?"

"I told you.  Jules has been crawling into bed with me in the middle of the night."  Pulling her shirt on, she walked over to where Ben was sitting and gave him a quick kiss. "So, I'll see you in the morning,” she smiled, and kissed him again, with him looking at her incredulously.

Giving him one last kiss, she darted out of his room and headed towards hers.  When she got to her bedroom door, Ben was right behind her.  She turned and looked at him amused.  "What are you doing?"

"Going to bed.  With you.  In your room."

"What? No!  We can't do that!"

"Why?  You know, you make me ask ‘why’ more than anyone I know."

She rolled her eyes, "Because, I told you, Jules!"

Slipping his arms around her waist, he kissed her nose.  “And?”

"She can't come in and find us in bed together!"

Ben looked amused.  Leaning down to her he whispered conspiratorially, ”You know, most parents sleep in the same bed?”

She huffed, "I know that, ass.  But she doesn't know."

"It'll be fine.  I promise."

"Ben..."

"Honestly. It'll be fine.  Do you think I would do anything to hurt her or you?"  He tightened his hands around her waist and pulled her closer.  

"No."

"Let's go to bed then."  Turning her around, he walked her into the bedroom, pausing to close and lock the door behind him.

"What are you doing?"

"Privacy, because I'm not done with you yet." 

"But-"

"She'll come to the door, it won't open and she'll call to you.  You'll let her in and it'll be a lesson in privacy.  Trust me.  I _have_ done this before."

She looked at him, still unsure, “OK.  If you say so," she drawled.  

"I do!"  He picked her up and tossed her onto the bed.  "Now.  Where was I?  Oh, right!"  He pounced on top of her laughing form.  

 

After they had worn each other out, Vivian got up to use the bathroom, and on her way back unlocked the door and cracked it an inch.  When she turned back to go to bed, she found Ben watching her, smiling.  He opened his arms to beckon her to him.  She climbed into bed, under the blankets and slipped into his embrace.  After a kiss or a few dozen, they drifted off into sleep.

 

"Mommy?"  Jules whispered as she touched her mother's arm.  During the night, Vivian and Ben had drifted apart in their sleep and Vivian was on her side facing the door.  

"What is it, baby?"  Vivian's sleep-addled voice asked.

"May I sleep with you?"

"Did you have another nightmare?"

Jules shook her head.

"No?  Why don't you want to sleep in your room?"

She shrugged her tiny shoulders, as she clutched her blue flamingo named Brian.

"OK.  Climb in."

Climbing up onto the bed, she began to climb over her mother when she stopped and stared at Ben, who was now awake, also.  Vivian turned over and watched the two.  Jules slowly finished climbing over her mother into the center spot between them, not once taking her eyes off Ben.  "Did you have a nightmare?"  Jules asked him.

Ben looked to Vivian's and she smiled.  “No,” he said.  “I just wanted to be with your mother.”

Jules watched him carefully for a moment, “Me too,” she then handed the flamingo to him.  "This is Brian.  He helps with sleeping."

"Thank you, sweetheart."

"Welcome."  She clamored under the blankets, and with a final motion of pushing her hair out of her face, closed her eyes and went to sleep.  

Vivian and Ben watched until her breathing evened out.  

"Brian?"  Ben asked.

"I don't know.  She's weird."

Ben chuckled.

"I'm pretty sure those are your genes at work."

He grinned so brightly, it nearly lit the whole room.  

 

The next morning, Jules started to stir, waking Vivian.  Upon Jules' waking, she turned to her mother and smiled just as brightly as Ben had the night before.

"Good morning, peanut."

"Morning, cashew."

"Sleep OK?"

Jules nodded.

"Hungry?"

"Can I have cookies?"

"Sure.  One package, only.  And don't forget your vitamin and a piece of fruit too, please."

"OK."  She climbed out from under the blankets and turned to reach for Brian, who was nestled under Ben's arm who appeared to still be asleep.  

"Do you want Brian?”  Vivian asked.

"No. It's OK."  Climbing over her mother off the bed, she started for the door.

"Hey.  Where's my kiss?"

Grinning, she bounced back over, giving her mother a loud kiss.  "May I watch cartoons after?"

"Sure.  Wash up first.  Hands, face and teeth, please."

"OK, mommy!"  Jules ran for the door and was gone.  

Vivian looked at the clock and noticed it was a good two hours later than Jules normally rose.  She sighed.  Either she had been really worn out the day before, she was coming down with something or she was setting up for another growth spurt.  Jules looked like she was chunking up a bit.  That would mean going through all her clothes, again, and donating them; it was so much work.  Rubbing her eyes, she rolled over on her back, then turned her head to find Ben watching her.

“Morning," he greeted her.

“Morning," she smiled.

"Cookies.  For breakfast,” he chided.

"They're not cookies.  She just calls them that.  They're breakfast bars."

"Ah."

"She has her own cupboard and a shelf in the fridge.  I keep it stocked with things I don't mind if she has.  She feels grown up."

"I couldn't do that with mine. They had no sense," he laughed, scrubbing his face with his hands.  "They'd eat everything and be sick.  So, we had to move everything out of their reach.  Menaces.  Both of them.”

“Kids…”

"Yes. But," he scooted closer, reaching out and pulling her to him as he did. “Some of us grow up into men.  That's a pretty good deal, isn't it?"

"Can be."

He kissed her gently.  "How much time do we have?"

"She's watching cartoons.  We have until we lose power or she's 45."

"Good," he kissed her again.  "I'll go lock the door.”  Vivian got up too and headed for the en-suite bathroom.  "Where are you going?"  He asked.

"I thought a shower would be nice.  Joining me?"

Flipping the lock on the now closed door, he grinned.

 

 _Well_ cleaned and giggling, the pair made their way downstairs and found Jules sitting on the couch, transfixed to the animation dancing across the screen.  She didn’t so much as _blink_ when they passed her.  

“Now that’s focus,” Ben said, as they arrived in the kitchen.

“Focus, obsession…You choose.  I’m gonna say, those are your genetics, though.”

Ben roared with laughter, and Vivian grinned.  Slipping his arms around her waist, he pulled her close, “You’re probably right about that.  The other two are the same way.”  Leaning down, he kissed her slowly and deeply.  Vivian returned the kiss, wrapping her arms around his neck as she did.  They lost themselves long enough that Jules came in and disrupted them with an accusatory, “What are you doing?”

Startled, Vivian tried to abruptly pull back but Ben wouldn’t let her go.  “We’re kissing,”  Ben explained, holding Vivian close, smiling.

“Why?”

“Because we care for each other,” he said and kissed Vivian on the cheek loudly.  “See?”  Vivian made a face, squeezing her eyes shut.

Jules stood looking at them.  Hard.

“I kiss you all the time, don’t I?”  Vivian asked.

Jules nodded.

“It’s kind of the same thing,” she said, extracting herself from Ben and crouching in front of her.  “But instead of mommy and daughter kisses, it’s more like Cinderella and Prince kisses.”

Jules looked back and forth between the two of them. 

“Get it?”

“Yeah,” she said, still skeptical.

Vivian grabbed her and covered her face with noisy kisses, making Jules squeal in laughter.  “Now, what did you come in here for?”  She asked after the silliness ended.

“May I have a juice box, please?”

“Did you eat your breakfast?”

She nodded, “Cookies, and two pieces of fruit and my vitamin.”

“Two pieces?”

“I was hungry.”

“I guess so!  Did you wash up, too?”

She nodded again.

“That’s my big girl.”  Standing, Vivian grabbed a juice box out of the refrigerator and handed it to her.  “Do you need help with the straw?”

“No thank you!”  She called running back into the living room.

She turned to Ben, “Well, that went OK., I guess.”

“Told you it would be fine,” he said hugging her.

 

 

 

A couple of nights later, Jules made a big fuss about Ben putting her to bed because he “reads the stories better and does all the funny voices better than you mommy.”  Vivian rolled her eyes, told her goodnight and kissed Jules on the head before Ben carried her off to her room.  

When she was sure they were firmly in the middle of bedtime, Vivian went to the door, careful to stay out of sight, and listened to Ben’s storytelling skills.  Pulling her phone out, she pulled up the camera and begin to video the scene.  He was doing just as Jules had said, reading all the different characters in the book with different voices including the narrator.  When he finished, she immediately asked for another one.

“Sorry pumpkin.  It’s time for lights out.  But, I can read you more tomorrow if you’d like.”

“OK.”

“OK,” he kissed her on the forehead.  “Goodnight honey.  I love you.”

“Night Ben.  I love you too.”

Ben froze for a second, as did Vivian.  As far as she knew, this was the first time Jules had said that to him.  He leaned down and wrapped her up in his arms, giving her a big hug.  Vivian heard him mumble something she couldn’t understand into Jules’ neck and put her down with another kiss on the forehead.  “I’ll see you in the morning.” 

“You too,” she said, following it with a big yawn.  

Vivian stopped recording and tiptoed, quickly away from the door, not wanting Ben to know she’d been spying on them.  Stuffing the phone into her pocket, she turned and started walking towards him, like she had just gotten there, as he came out of the room looking a little dazed. “Hey,” she smiled at him.

“Hey,” he answered, his voice quiet.

“Everything OK?”

“Yeah.  Yeah.”

“Would you like a glass of wine?”

“Yeah. That’d be great.”

After making their way downstairs, Ben dropped onto the couch, while Vivian poured them two generous glasses of wine.

“Cheers,” she said, clinking their glasses together once they each had one.

“Cheers.”  

They drank in silence while Vivian waited for Ben to tell her.  She ended up waiting far longer than she would have liked.  It wasn’t until he’d finished his glass and was halfway through a second before he turned to her.

“Julia told me she loved me tonight.”

Vivian smiled, reaching out to touch his face, his eyes brimming with tears.  “Well, of course, she loves you.”

“I didn’t think it would happen so soon.”

She leaned in and kissed him.

“I’m very happy.”

Vivian grinned, “Just a moment.”  She pulled her phone out, and after some swiping and tapping, Ben got a text alert.  “I just sent you something.”

He smiled, pulling out his phone.  Pulling up the text and starting the video he gasped and watched it the whole way through before he spoke again.  “You were there.  You recorded it.”  He looked at her, “Did you know?”

“No,” she gently shook her head.  “I just thought I’d get a quick video of you reading to her.”

“You caught the moment,” he said, after hitting play again.

“Luck was on our side.”

He did some tapping on the phone and sent the video to himself via email so there would be a copy somewhere else.

“What a day,” he smiled at her.

“What a day.”

 

 

“Ready?”  Vivian asked him.

“Yeah.  I think so.  I don’t know,” he stared out in front of himself, focused on nothing.  

Vivian reached over and took his hand and gave it a squeeze, “It’ll be OK.  She may be confused for a little bit, but she loves you.  I promise.”

Leaning over he kissed her.  “OK,” he whispered against her lips.

She nodded, turned and called their daughter.  

“Coming mama!”  Julia called, as her loud footsteps echoed through the house.  They set her down on the couch between them.

“So,” Vivian started, “Remember when we had a conversation about different kinds of families?”

The little girl nodded.  “Some have two mommies, some have two daddies.  Some have grandmas and grandpas.”

“Yes.  That’s right.  Remember when you asked why you didn’t have a daddy, and I told you, I didn’t know where he was?”

Julia nodded.

“Baby, I know where he is.”

Julia said nothing, staring at her mother.

“Your father, baby, is Ben,” she said, gently stroking Julia’s face.

Julia’s eyes shot over to Ben.  “Ben is my dad?”

“Yes,” Ben said.  “Yes, I am.”

“Why?”

“Why what?”  Vivian asked.

“Why is he my dad?”

“That’s kind of a long story, and I’ll tell you when you’re older.  But, it’s true.  And it’s not his fault he wasn’t here.  It was my fault.  We didn’t know until recently.”

“How much older?”

Ben fought back a grin.

“Not sure.  I thought I’d play it by ear.”

“So, probably like 6 and a half?”

“Maybe.  How do you feel about it?”

“Well, “ she thought for a moment, “It’s a long time to wait.”

Ben outright laughed as Vivian sighed.  “I mean about Ben, being your dad.”

She shrugged half-heartedly.

“It’s OK.  You don’t have to know,” Ben said, “But I do want you to know I love you, and I will be here for you.”

“Are you going to live here?”  Julia asked.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey! Leave me a comment for my birthday! It'll be the best (if not the only) gift I get this year! Make my day!


	10. Ten

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the delay. We had a death in the family and I couldn't find the will to update. Anywho, here is the next chapter. I hope you enjoy it!

****

 

 

**Previously on By Any Other Name…**

 

“Are you going to live here?”  Julia asked. 

 

_And now the continuation..._

 

 

Both Vivian and Ben looked pained at the question.  “No, baby,”  Vivian said.  “He won’t, but we will visit as much as we can.  He’ll come here, and we can go there.”

“Have you ever been on a plane before?”  Ben asked.

Julia shook her head excitedly.

“Well, then you’re in for a treat, aren't you?”

“That’ll be cool!”  Julia smiled brightly at the idea.  

“Totally,” Ben grinned.  “And, don’t worry, you can call me Ben until you feel comfortable enough to call me dad.  OK?”

Julia’s smile dropped and she got a serious look on her face as she considered his words.  “OK.”

“OK.”

“Can I watch cartoons on your tablet?”  Julia asked her mother, ever the opportunist.

“Sure.”

“Thanks, mommy!”  She said running off.

Vivian turned to Ben and shrugged.  “OK then.”

He sighed and smiled.  “OK.”

 

 

 

 

It was two days before Ben was scheduled to leave when Julia came running into the kitchen to ask her mother to help her put her doll back together.  Vivian, elbow deep in dishes, suggested she ask Ben to help her reassemble the doll, not daring to ask how the doll came to be unassembled.  Julia nodded and turned to and began to run out of the kitchen.  Vivian wondered if the child would walk instead of run, ever again.

“Daddy!”  Julia called out.

Shocked, Julia dropped the glass baking dish she was washing and it broke in half in the sink.  “Shit!”  She pulled off the rubber gloves and ran towards where her daughter had run.  Ben had the doll in his hands, putting all the limbs back in their proper places.

“There you go!”  He said, handing it back to her.

“Thank you daddy!” Taking the doll, she ran off.

Ben looked up at Vivian and smiled, teary-eyed.  Vivian, just as teary-eyed, went to him and they embraced.

 

 

Vivian, in bed,  turned onto her side and scooted closer to Ben who did the same.  “Because of how we handled the paternity test, I was able to start the paperwork on getting your name added as the father to her birth certificate.”

Ben smiled, leaned over and kissed her.  “Thank you.”

“As soon as I have it, I’ll get her passport.  It is OK that we come visit, isn’t it?”

“As often and for as long as you’d like,” he reached out and took her hand.

“Have you told your ex and kids?”

“Not yet.  I will when I get back.  I wanted to see how things went.”

“Yeah.  Is there anything I can do?”

He smiled, “No.  But thank you.”

 

 

The three of them stood in the entryway clinging to each other in an emotional hug.  “Do you have to go daddy?”  Julia sniffed.

“I’m afraid so, sweetheart.  But, you’ll fly on a plane and come visit me, won’t you?”

She pulled back and looked at him nodding.

“Good girl.  I’ll show you all around my town.  Everybody talks funny there.”

Julia giggled.

“Are you sure you don’t want us to take you to the airport?”

“No, this is better.  No surprises.”

Vivian nodded.  “As soon as the paperwork is in order, we’ll come.”

“I can’t wait,” he kissed her, long and slow.  Long enough Julia started giggling.  They moved apart reluctantly and looked at their daughter.

 

Never underestimate the government’s ability to drag its feet on paperwork.  They took the absolute longest time possible without being late.  Both for the birth certificate and passport.  Any other time it probably wouldn’t have been a big deal, but with a small child excited about a plane ride and missing her father, as was her mother, the time seemed to creep by at an excruciatingly slow pace.  

The day the last of the paperwork showed up in the mail, Vivian called Ben and he immediately pulled up his calendar to schedule their visit.  Which couldn’t come soon enough for any of them, honestly.  In parental tradition, Julia was not told about the trip until the day before to save Vivian from the incessant questions.  Self-preservation at its finest.  

When the surprise was revealed, a more excited child you had never seen.  Vivian momentarily considered giving the child a shot of sherry to knock her out.  Only momentarily, though.  Mostly.  The trip to the airport was filled with the excited chatter of the little girl and every person they met along the way was gifted with her tale of flying on a plane for the first time and going to visit her daddy, “Who talks funny but it’s OK.  I still love him.”  

Their carry on cases contained little else but distractions for Julia, for when the novelty of being cooped up on a plane would wear off.  Vivian hoped taking the overnight would help, and it did.  Flying first class, which she had never done before, also helped.  

When Vivian woke Julia she was bleary but happy.  Customs was another exercise in patience both in line, (even though their ticket landed them in the expedited group), and being questioned by the officer. “What is the purpose of your trip?”  His voice monotone, ad decidedly uninterested having asked the same question hundreds of times that day.

“Vaca-,” Vivian started.

“We’re going to visit my daddy!”  Julia cut her off grinning ear to ear and bouncing up and down.  

The officer raised his eyebrows at Vivian.  It must have been the most interesting thing to happen to him that day.

“Yes.  We’re taking a vacation and visiting her father.”

“Is the father a UK citizen?”  He obviously was going to make the most of the break in the monotony. 

“Yes.”

“Are you and the father married?”

“No.”

He looked at her long and hard, and Vivian didn’t back down.  

“Enjoy your stay,” he said, stamping hers and Julia’s passport.  

 

Ben had sent a car to pick them up and Vivian was happy not to have to hail a cab.  Since he wouldn’t be there when they arrived, he’d arranged for the car service to also have keys to his house so they could get in and make themselves at home.  After helping them into the house with the luggage they moved the luggage out of the way, not knowing where to put things and Vivian went about trying to keep her daughter awake for the day to try to get her on the new time zone.  By 8:00 PM they were both asleep on the couch in the living room, in front of a tv with the sound turned down almost too low to hear.  

Vivian was awakened with a soft kiss to her forehead.  She opened her eyes to Ben smiling down at her.  She looked down her body where Julia was sprawled on top of her like a blanket.  Ben leaned down and kissed her head too. 

“Hi,” Vivian whispered.

“Hi.  Shall we put her to bed?”

“Yeah, that’s a good idea.”

Picking her up, Ben cradled her close to his chest as she draped her arms around his neck, resting her head on his shoulders.  He sat down on the bed as Vivian pulled her nightgown from her case.  Together they got her changed and put into bed without her waking.

“That’s one tired little meep,” Vivian said.

“Long, big couple of days.”  He reached out for Vivian’s hand and lead her out of the room, closing the door behind him.  As he did, he pulled Vivian into him and hugged her tight against his body, and she responded in kind.  “I can’t believe you’re here.  I’ve missed you,” he spoke softly into her shoulder.

“I know.  Me too.” 

He pulled back just enough to kiss her with all the longing of not seeing your lover for months.  When it ended, both were breathless with their hearts racing.  Then, Vivian’s stomach rumbled.

Laughing, Ben gave her another peck on the cheek.  “I guess you haven’t eaten dinner.”

“No,” she laughed, too.  “I took a nap instead.  My body clock is a mess.”

“I have dinner in the fridge, then I’ll take you to bed where you will get no sleep whatsoever.”

“Good thing I napped.”

“Definitely.”  

 

He kept his promise.  

 

 

Even though their visit was for three weeks, it still wasn’t enough.  The first week was all about getting settled and some sightseeing.  The second week, a very big and nerve-wracking week, was Julia being introduced to her siblings.  When Ben had returned home after his visit, he met with his ex-wife and talked out the details.  It went about as well as you would expect.  It took a few weeks for things to settle down and come to an agreement.  There was no way, after all, that they couldn’t meet.  

Once the three kids were in the room together and introduced, an awkward kind of silence fell over the room.  Vivian and Ben looked at each other silently asking what to do next.  When Timmy spoke up first.  “Do you like Legos?”

Julia nodded.

“We have a lot.  Wanna see?”  Jack asked.

Julia nodded excitedly and the three kids were off.  After the honeymoon stage was over, and they were used to each other, the sibling thing kicked in…hard.  They fought with each other as much as they protected and sided with each other.  There were only a few times adult intervention had to happen, but when faced with the promise of deprivation of whatever it was they were fighting over including extra chores, they miraculously managed to sort out the issue.

The third week was filled with a slow-growing sadness and dread of having to leave.  On one of their last nights together, they lay in each other’s arms, quietly.

“I don’t want to wait so long to see you two again.”

“Me either.  It couldn’t be helped though.  Government bureaucracy.”

“I know.”

“We’ll figure it out.”

“Yeah.”

“What about a shared calendar so we can see our schedules.”

Ben kissed the top of her head, “That’s a good idea.  Can we shoot for no more than six weeks apart?"  He groaned.  “Fuck.  Even that seems too long.”

“I’ll make it a priority.”

“We can do this.”

“There’s no other option.”  

“No.  There isn’t.”

Turning on his side so he could look at her, Vivian did the same.  He took her hands and kissed them both, before leaning over to kiss her properly.  “I love you,” he whispered against her lips.

She looked into his blue eyes, then leaned over and kissed him back.  “I love you, too,” she said just as softly.

“I don’t think I ever stopped.”

“Me either.”

“Please promise we won’t stay away too long.”

“I promise.”

 

For the next year, they took turns switching off where convenient.  Sometimes Vivian and Julia went to wherever Ben was, and sometimes he came to them.  On a couple of occasions, he brought Timmy and Jack to visit, too, which made Vivian happy that they could all be a new kind of family.

 

 

“I’d like to talk to you about something,” Ben said, sitting down next to Vivian on the couch.  They had come to visit him this time.  

She put down the book she was reading and turned to face him.  It was a typical overcast day in London and she had curled up with some tea and a fire in the fireplace to read.

“What’s up?”  She asked, her nerves started to kick in.  She’s been a little worried at some point he’d ask for partial custody of Jules, and though she loved him, the thought of being away from her child chilled her to the very bone.

“I hate all this scheduling we have to do to be together.  I want us together all the time.”

“Ooookay.”

“I know it’s selfish to ask.”

She frowned.

“Move to London.”

“What?”  OK, not what she was expecting.

“Move to London,” he grabbed her hands.  “Come live with me.  We can all be together.”

After she got over the shock of his question, in which she was pretty sure she looked like a gaping fish, she took a breath, finally.  “Is there a reason you couldn’t move to the States?”

His face dropped in sadness, “Yes.”

Right.  His other two little ones.  She nodded her understanding.

“We can be together here.  She’ll have the best education.  Much better than in the states.”

Vivian wanted to be offended, but when you’re right you’re right.

“She’ll be surrounded by all this history and culture and close to so many different countries.  Think how wonderful it will be for her.”

It would, she knew.  “I know,” she said softly.

“She’s young enough that it wouldn’t be too big of a disruption for her.”

“And for me?”

“I know.  I know it’s unfair to ask.  But I love you.  I love both of you.  I’ll do everything I can to make sure you’re happy.”

She looked outside at the grey sky and sighed.  “I’ll think about it.”  She turned to look at him.  “OK?”

“Yes!  Better than OK.  Great!” 

 

 

For two days, Ben watched Vivian closely.  Anytime she looked up and caught him, he’d smile brightly.  He was extra attentive and generous, almost insatiably affectionate.  It was like he was saying, ‘All this could be yours, please stay.’  

Vivian found herself on his rooftop garden bundled up in a jacket, and wrapped in a blanket, looking out over the view of the city.  Pen and paper in hand, she was trying to work out the decision on what to do.  Pros and cons.  Advantages and disadvantages.  Feelings versus facts.  Pages and pages of arguments and rationalizations sat in her lap.  Out of the corner of her eye, she saw Ben standing at the glass doors watching.  She tensed a little but didn’t want him to know she saw him and didn’t want him to come out while she was working things out.  Closing her eyes, and taking a deep breath, she slowly exhaled and rolled her shoulders trying to release some of the tension.  When she glanced over again, he was gone.  

A while later, chilled to the bone from the English weather, but certain about her decision, she came in and made herself a pot of tea.  She settled down on the couch, wrapping herself in a less damp blanket and sipped from her favorite mug, waiting for Ben to show up next to her as she knew he would.  And he did.

“Everything OK?”  He asked, rubbing her back helping warm her up.

“Yeah.”

“You must be freezing.  You were out there for hours.”

“I didn’t notice until the very end.  Though, if you could arrange for more sun, that’d be great,” she smiled at him.  

“I’m afraid the British couldn’t take it.  A&E visits would rise exponentially.”

“Well, stiff upper lip and all that.”

He pulled her close, “Are you OK?  Are we OK?”

She turned her face up and kissed him.  “I’m fine.  We’re fine.”  She sat back so she could look him in the eyes.  “I’ve made a decision.”


	11. Eleven

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, whadya know. Another chapter!

****

 

 

 

**Previously on By Any Other Name…**

 

_He pulled her close, “Are you OK?  Are we OK?”_

_She turned her face up and kissed him.  “I’m fine.  We’re fine.”  She sat back so she could look him in the eyes.  “I’ve made a decision.”_

**_And now the continuation..._ **

 

 

He nodded.  “I assumed.”

“I love you.  I want to be here with you.  I want us to raise our daughter together.  I agree with you, her education would be better here, and she deserves the best I can, we can give her.  So, yes.  I’ll move here.  But, I have a condition.” 

Looking on with controlled excitement, he asked, “What do you need?”

“I want to get my own place.  Near you, or near the school or however that works.”

“Vivian-“ he started to plead.

“No.  Ben.  These are huge changes.  Moving.  New country.  New job.  New school.  New relationship.”

“We’re not new.”

“But we will be.  We’ve not ever lived in the same country, let alone vicinity.  We don’t know how it will be when we are together all the time.  We can’t know.  I think we need to take the time to figure it out.”

Sitting next to her while she made her case, Ben watched carefully while trying to form his own argument that would convince her to live with him.

“You know I’m right.  Give me this peace of mind.  I’ll rent a place, we’ll see how it goes for a while and if you still want me…”

Ben said nothing, but she knew he was trying to find the argument that would change her mind.

“Please,” Vivian asked, her expression pleading with him to understand.

They held each other’s gaze for a long few moments before Ben smiled.  “Yes.  Of course.  But, counter offer.”

Vivian smiled, “OK.”

“Can we put a time limit on how long you stay in the rental?  Six months.”

“A year.”

“Viv…”

“OK.  How about this?  When I find a place, I’ll take the shortest lease they offer.”

“Deal,” he smiled, and extended his hand for her to shake.

“Deal,” she agreed and took his hand, but instead of shaking her hand, he pulled her into his lap and kissed her.

“Deal” he smiled after the kiss.

 

Ben called his lawyers to find out what needed to be done to get the paperwork started.  The tedium of documents and forms was almost daunting enough to make Vivian quit.  Even with legal help, there was no guarantee the UK would let her move there.  After all what great skill did she have to offer?  Her daughter, who is legally considered a citizen may or may not count in her favor, and there was a bank account full of money so she wouldn’t be a drain on their resources, but it was still an uncertainty.  As if that wasn’t enough, decisions had to be made about her house and belongings.  None of those decisions could be made without knowing if they would be allowed to move.  

Contacting property management agencies, she worked out possible scenarios of someone renting her house with and without the furnishings.  Movers were called about shipping her belongings overseas.  Calls were made to storage units for her belongings if the possible tenants didn’t want her furniture, truth be told, she wasn’t sure she wanted someone using her furniture.  It seems oddly invasive.  

With the help of the lawyers, Ben’s status, Vivian’s financial independence, and Julia being Ben’s biological child (the way in which they handled the paternity test made it so they didn’t have to do another one), they were granted the permits and Visas.  What they did learn was, it’s hard looking for a place to live when you’re on the other side of the world.  So, Vivian caved and accepted Ben’s invitation to stay at his house while she searched for a place to live and find a job.  Ben went so far as to hire an estate agent for Vivian to help with the search.  Vivian also used a few of her contacts to get names of people she could call on for potential job options.

Three weeks she had been at his place when she got a response to one of her applications.  The money wasn’t great, but it was a foot in the door.  The job was on the Tube line, so she didn’t have to drive if she didn’t want to, and she didn’t want to.  Plus, the interview had gone better than she’d hoped.

Her hands were waving wildly as she told Ben about it, “They were so confused!  Why did I want a job that was such an obvious step down from my last position?  I told them.  I need a job!  I was sure I had a learning curve in a new country and I was happy for any opportunity afforded me.”

“Were they happy with your answers?”

“Ecstatic!  She then excused herself and went to talk to her boss, and they both came in and he talked to me a bit about my experience and said they were starting a new project and needed a PM for it and would I be interested!  They hadn’t listed it yet!  Plus, the money is pretty good!  Much better than the original position!”

“That’s amazing!”  He said, scooping her up into a hug, her feet dangling before he set her back down.  “I’m so happy for you.”

“Now all I have to do is find a place.  I don’t know why it’s so hard.  I guess I’ll have to expand my parameters,” she sighed.  “At least with the job, I can up the price a bit.  I feel bad imposing on you like this.”

“Well, that’s all you.”  Ben moved away from Vivian and sat down on the couch.

“What?”  She asked, turning to face him.

“Feeling like you’re an imposition.  You’re not.  And I’m pretty damn sure I’ve not done anything to make you feel that way.”

“Ben.  I made a promise to be out of your hair.” 

“Yeah but that promise was for you, not me.”

She pressed her lips into a line and all but glared at him.  

“I wanted you here.  I always wanted you here.  I agreed to you getting your own place because I at the very least wanted you close.  Stay.  Here.  With me.”  He grabbed her hands and pulled her down to sit next to him, then brought them to his lips, kissing them.  

Vivian’s brow crinkled revealing the war within herself.

“Do you want to have to worry about moving, when you’re starting a new job?  Stay.  Please.”  His eyes were pleading as he gripped her hands tighter.  

She stood thinking, weighing the idea.  When she took a deep breath to steady herself and try to feel her way through it, she knew.  The answer was clear and calmed her.  “OK.  I’ll stay.”

“Yes?”  His excitement about to boil over.

“Yes!”  She smiled.  

Ben pounced, enveloping her in a laughter-filled hug.  Which made her laugh, too.  

When the laughter stopped, she whispered, “I always wanted to stay.  I was afraid.”

He hugged her tighter.  “I know.”  He buried his face deeper into her neck and shoulder.  “I know.”

They shared the news with Julia, who was pleased and jumped up and down and then wanted a cookie.  Because of course she did, the opportunist. 

 

**~18 months Later~**

 

Vivian lay in bed looking up at the ceiling, grinning, as Ben climbed in next to her, laughing.  “Why are you smiling?”  He leaned over and gave her a kiss.

She turned on her side to face him, still smiling, “Tell me again about our trip.”

He laughed, his crooked smile making her grin all the more.  “Again?”  He snuggled down under the blankets.  “We leave tomorrow.”

“I know.  Just tell me.”

“OK.”

Julia flopped back over on her back, still grinning.

“We wake up, get showered and dressed.  Then we will get the three stooges up and dressed.  Make sure everything is packed.  Mia will show up.  The car takes the six of us to the airport, where we board the plane and fly to NewYork for a hellacious layover.  But, we have a suite in the city to tide us over.  Then, we will head back to JFK and board our flight to a sun-drenched Caribbean island.  Once we’re checked into our personal, private, Villa*-“

“With how many residences?”  She asked, cutting him off.

“Three.  Including nanny quarters for Mia.”

Vivian clapped excitedly.  “Don’t forget the personal staff and driver!”

“We swim, eat, play for a week.  Then send the kids home with Mia who will take the boys home to their mother, and your mother will be waiting at ours for Julia.  She will watch her while we take time for ourselves for three more weeks or until you can’t stand to be away from her any longer.”

“Best vacation ever,” she smiled at him.

“Absolutely the best.”

 

 

They arrived on the island, checked in and got settled all before lunch.  After changing into swimming attire, the group made their way down to the restaurant for lunch before heading out to the pool.  Yes, pool.  The kids decided, and of course they picked the pool.  Mia took off to do her own thing while Ben and Vivian hung out with the kids, all of them covered in SPF 8,000,000.  Sunshine is tough on British skin.  

After everyone was thoroughly waterlogged, they headed back to their rooms to clean up and change for dinner.  Mia was already at the rooms when they arrived and was invited to join them.

“On my way out today, I stopped by the concierge and asked about things to do.  They sent up a bunch of brochures and a schedule of different activities in the vicinity.”

“Great idea.  Thank you,” Ben said.

“In fact, they’re showing a movie out on the beach tonight.  They do it most nights, actually.  It’s a Disney film.”

“Can we go?”  Timmy asked excitedly.

Vivian and Ben looked at each other, both knackered from the trip and all day in the sun at the pool.

“Please, dad?” Jack pleaded.

“We’ll think about it,” Ben said, before taking a drink of his tropical, adult beverage.

“Please?”  Julia asked her mother.

“You heard, dad.  We’ll think about it.”

“If you’re tired, I can take them.”  Mia offered.

Ben and Vivian looked at each other.  “That’s kind of you,” Vivian smiled.  “But we want you to have time to yourself as well.”

“I don’t mind.  Really.  I haven’t seen this one yet.  I heard it’s good.”

All three kids turned, looking at their parents, eyes wide with hope.  Ben and Vivian exchanged looks, a wordless conversation, which ended with a shrug.  

“If you’re sure you don’t mind,” Vivian asked, Mia.

“Not at all.”

“OK.  Have at it.”  Vivian turned to the kids, “You will behave yourselves and not give her one bit of trouble.  If she so much as has to shoot you a look, I will have her pack you up and bring you right back to your room.  Is that understood?  She is doing this out of the kindness of her heart.”

“We promise!”  They said in unison.

“Mia If they so much as look like they might be thinking about being rotten, bring ‘em back.”

Mia laughed.  “OK.  No problem.”

“We’ll compensate you for this,” Ben added.  “You can have a different night off or we’ll pay you overtime.  Whatever you want.”

“Thank you.  I appreciate it.”

After dinner, the three kids and Mia took off for the movie site to get good seats.  Vivian and Ben were skeptical they needed to be that early, or that there would be very many people, but, the kids were excited and the parents were exhausted.  Mostly…

 

Vivian stepped out of the bathroom and stopped in front of the bed wearing newly acquired lingerie, to find Ben propped up against the headboard wearing his glasses, reading a book.  When he didn’t look up, she pretended to clear her throat.  At that, he did look up raising his eyebrows rose as a grin slid across his face.  

“Is it my birthday?”  He asked, setting the book on the nightstand.

Grinning, she shook her head.  “Nope.”

“Is it _your_ birthday?”

“Nope.”

“Did I forget an important date?”

She chuckled.  “No.  I thought, maybe some new lingerie for our vacation would be nice.  You like?”

His eyes took her in from head to toe.  “Like doesn’t begin to describe it.  Turn,” he said, twirling his finger around.  Vivian started to when he said, “Slowly.”

Vivian grinned and did as he asked, slowly spinning for him to get the total view.  When she faced him again, she started to make her way to him on the bed, but he stopped her.  

“Wait.”

She stopped in her tracks.

“Would you,” he paused.  “Just, maybe let the robe slip down your shoulders a bit.”  His hands gesturing lightly at his words.  “Maybe enough so I can see the back of your gown.”

Vivian raised her eyebrow in surprise, he wanted a show, well OK.  She let the silk collar slide down her shoulders, where it was caught by the bend in her arms.  Slowly, she spun around for him stopping halfway, letting the robe slip down just a bit more to reveal her bare back.  She peeked over her shoulder at him with a sly grin as she watched him take off his glasses eyeing her.  When she’d completed the circle she looked at him for more instruction.  

“Let it fall.”  His voice was deeper, quieter.  

She did as instructed, letting the silk robe fall silently to the floor, as he looked at her like she was his last meal.  

“Come here.”

Vivian moved to the end of the bed and climbed up on her hands and knees, slowly crawling to him, the neckline dipping down to give him a good peek at her chest, but not entirely.  His eyes darted back and forth between her face and her cleavage until she began to crawl over the length of his legs up his body where she stopped, eye level with him.  Neither of them moved, they made eye contact and held it, daring the other to give in first.  Ben, it turns out, had no problem with that and kissed her hard, one hand grabbing the back of her head, fingers winding in her hair.  He ended the kiss, gently positioning her, to sit astride his lap.  He reached up and gently slid one delicate strap off her shoulder, then the other, causing it to slip down, much like the robe had done, but this time it caught on the swell of her breasts.  One hand stroked along the outside of her thigh and waist, playing with the delicate fabric, while the other hand’s fingers ran along the sensitive skin of her collarbone and chest.  He let his hand slide up to her neck then cheek.

“We have a couple of hours before the kids are back.”

Vivian nodded.

“I plan to use every single minute of those hours ravaging you.  And when the kids come back and we put them to bed, we’ll come back and I’ll continue to devastate you until you are completely wrecked and don’t know your own name.”

Goosebumps covered Vivian’s skin at his promise and sent butterflies loose in her stomach.  She leaned in, kissed him lightly and murmured against his lips, a hint above a whisper, “Not if I get to you first.”

 

 

One thing she loved about Ben, is he keeps his promises.  Vivian was as he said she would be, wrecked and unsure of her name.  She lay, head on his chest, arm and leg draped over him, while he held her, both recuperating from the night’s activities.  Vivian didn’t even have the energy to doodle on his chest like she liked to do.

“What’s your name?”  Ben asked.  She heard the smile in his voice.

“Don’t know, don’t care,” she mumbled.

Ben chuckled, his deep voice resonating in his chest.  “Another satisfied customer.”

“No lie there.”

He kissed the top of her head.  As Vivian was about to drift off to sleep, Ben reached over to the nightstand and opened the drawer.  Fiddling around with something inside, careful not to dislodge Vivian as he did, he maneuvered something out of its confines.  When he’d retrieved what he wanted he hugged Vivian to him kissing her on the head again.  With the arm cradled around her, he picked up her left hand and with his other, she felt him slip a ring on _that_ finger.  She opened her eyes and looked at her hand in disbelief.  Was she hallucinating?  Did all those orgasms give her brain damage?  

“I was going to create a perfectly constructed moment.  Maybe on the beach with champagne.  But, now felt right.  Us.  Together.  Sated and in love.  This moment is perfect.”

Vivian propped herself up looking him in the eyes, still trying to comprehend what was happening.

“Vivian.  My love.  Marry me.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *That is one Villa. One. 
> 
> 21,645-square-foot interior / 5,900-square-foot exterior. Big enough for 12 people. 
> 
> https://vimeo.com/190159451
> 
> Excuse me whilst I go buy a lottery ticket.


	12. Twelve

**Previously on By Any Other Name…**

 

“Vivian.  My love.  Marry me.”  

 

_And now the conclusion..._

 

Big tears spilled from her eyes, and she took a breath because she hadn’t been breathing, and kissed him.  Resting her forehead on his when the kiss was over she nodded.  “Yes.  Yes,” she whispered, then kissed him again again.  A long, unhurried, embrace until Ben smiled and began to laugh, causing Vivian to smile at him.

“What’s so funny?” She asked.

“I’m relieved.  I was honestly afraid you might say no.”

“What?  Why?”

“We’ve never discussed it.  You’ve never spoken of marrying again.  I didn’t know how you felt about it.  There was a good possibility you were on ‘Team Never Again’.”

Brushing the backs of her fingers along his cheek, she smiled at him.  “I didn’t need it.  I only wanted you.  If that didn’t include marriage, I was fine with it.  Just as long as we were together.”

“Well, now you’re never getting rid of me.”

“Perfect.”

 

 

They’d only been asleep a few hours when they got a text from Mia saying she was taking the kids down for breakfast.  

“God I love that woman,” Vivian mumbled.  “I’d leave you for her right now,” she said, curling back into Ben’s arms.

He laughed, and they started to slip back into sleep.  “Baby.”

“Hmmm,” Vivian asked, snuggling in a little more.

“I have an idea.”

“Do I need to be awake for it?”

“Yeah.”

“Are you sure?  Because I could just lie here, while you-”

He cut her off by repositioning them so he could see her.  “Let’s get married.”

“Wasn’t that the plan, ya know with the ring and all?”  She yawned, wiggling her ring finger at him.

“Here.  Let’s get married here.  This week.”

Vivian’s eyes opened.  “What?”

He nodded enthusiastically.  “It’s perfect, really.  No press.  Just us and the kids.”

“But, what about our families?”  She asked, looking up at him.

“We can get married again for them,” he said waving his hand, like he was waving away the idea.  “But this.  This will be for us.”

Vivian’s looked around like the answer would be visible somewhere, while she tried to come to terms with his idea.  “Just us.”

“Yes.”

“Like, on the beach?”

“Next to the water.”

“The kids.  Best Man, Ring Bearer, Flower Girl.”

“Yes!”

“Can we?  Do we need special paperwork?”

“I don’t know,” he reached over to his phone, Vivian scooted under his arm so it was around her, and did a quick search.  “We need our divorce certificates.  We can call our lawyers and have them overnighted.  Other than that we have our passports and we just need to make arrangements with clergy.”

“Oh my God.  It’s that easy?”

He nodded.

“OK,” she smiled looking up at him.  “OK!”

Tossing his phone on the bed, Ben pounced on her with a loud kiss.  “We’ll call the lawyers in a couple of hours and start the process.  The concierge can probably give us a list of clergy.”

Vivian gasped, “I need a dress!”

“You need a dress!  When Mia gets back, I’ll take the kids, you two go shopping.”

“We’re really gonna do this…”

“Yes we are.”

“Are we going to tell anyone?”

“I don’t know.  Should we, have another ceremony and not say anything?”

“Well, it’s not like the three stooges can keep a secret.”

Ben snorted in laughter.  “That’s true.”

“But we don’t want them to lie, either.”

“No.  Maybe just tell close family members.  Then send out invitations to the big ceremony to everyone else.”  

“That’s a good plan.  Let’s go with that.  Then we can still have them in the wedding.”

“Twice,” Ben grinned.

 

 

 

A few hours and phone calls later, the cogs were in motion for their elopement.  Returning with the kid during the planning, Mia was asked to take them to an activity for a couple of hours, because something had come up and they needed to address it.  She looked at them skeptically, trying to read what they were up to, but assured her she’d be let in on the details when they had their ducks in a row.  With a shrug and an “OK,” she gathered the munchkins up and took them to find the next adventure.

When they returned Vivian pulled Mia aside and told her the news, stunned silent for a moment.

“Really?”

Vivian nodded.

“Congratulations!”  Mia hugged her.

“Thank you.  I need a favor.  A couple, actually.”

“Anything.”

“I need a dress.  Will you come with me?”

“Shopping?  For a wedding dress?  Oh hell yes!”

“Thank you.  Will you also act as a witness?  We need two adults.  We may have to hire the other one,” she laughed.

“Of course!”

“I’m pretty sure Julia will want to be a flower girl.  If she does, do you mind being my maid of honor?”

“I would be honored,” Mia hugged Vivian again.  This is going to be amazing.”

It took a day and a half to find a dress for Vivian as well as Mia and Julia.  They also found something for the boys to wear as well as a ring for Ben.  It wasn’t exactly what Vivian had wanted, but it would make a nice placeholder until she could find the perfect ring.  It’s not like he’d be wearing it anyway, since this was a Big Secret.  Ben was on his own for his attire, but he wasn’t worried.  By the time everything was in line, the divorce certificates and marriage licenses were ready and they had scheduled the wedding on a nearby beach on the last day before the kids were scheduled to fly back home.  

 

As predicted, Julia wanted to be the flower girl.  Timmy was asked to be best man, as the oldest, and Jack was the ring bearer.  Mia acted as witness and maid of honor and the reverend's wife acted as second witness.  

Vivian’s walk down the beach to Ben was both the longest and shortest of her life.  Everything had happened so quickly to get them here from the first night of their arrival.  Whirlwind was an apt description.  The path that brought them here had taken years, off and on, and under grim circumstances.  All that was behind them now, they’d found a new normal as they say, their normal, and now they were here, Vivian walking down a sandy aisle to the love of her life, and Ben watching her as if she’d materialized from a shimmering mist.  

 Taking a moment to look around, Vivian took in her new family, who she loved.  It was truly one of the happiest moments of her life and she wanted to remember every bit of it.  She was grateful for the suggestion that they hire a photographer and videographer.  Her head was in such a turvy that she’d never of thought of it.  So there they all were, wearing tiny microphones, Vivian walking down the aisle, her family waiting and the sound of waves gently crashing in the background under an arrangement of “Here Comes the Bride.”

Once at the altar, the reverend began the nuptials.  They decided to keep it simple, they could write their own vows for the second ceremony.  This time, they’d go for the quick and simple standard vows.  When they slipped the rings on each other’s fingers and promised to love and cherish one another, their first kiss as man and wife was nothing short of perfect.  The kiss was met with cheers from the children, who also had fun throwing birdseed at the couple, drawing laughter from the adults. 

Joy.  There was nothing but joy.  Then it was time to celebrate!

 

They went to a nearby restaurant they had reserved and had dinner and cake and champagne.  The restaurant had previously hired a band for the night and the couple decided to keep them.  So, they got their first dance, after Ben enquired about the [song](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VWtYgeiP4cs) he wanted.  Vivian didn’t try to stop her tears as the first notes began.  As each tear fell, he kissed it away until she leaned against him and lost herself in their happiness.  When the song ended, Timmy came over and asked to dance with Vivian, while Ben scooped up Julia and Jack danced with Mia.  All in all, it was a good night.  A perfect night and they looked forward to their vacation turned honeymoon.

If the first night of their vacation was frantic and exhausting the first night of their marriage was languid and romantic, like they had all the time in the world.  Which now they did.  Kissing the children goodbye, they promised to bring them home something special.  If they were sad to leave their parents, it didn’t show.  The excitement of an airplane ride without them was too thrilling.  

The next three weeks were spent doing as little as possible in between small adventures on jet skis or ATV’s.  The occasional boat ride was included, but mostly it was spent at their villa with its private beach and pool.

They made the decision to call the boys’ mother and Vivian’s and Ben’s parents before the kids got home, to give them a heads up.  Fortunately, no one was upset, and no one was surprised he proposed.  The wedding, on the other hand, was met with some level of shock.  After promises of another wedding and reception for friends and family, and yes, of course, we would love your input and help, and please any suggestions would be most appreciated, everyone was appeased.  After all, they’d had their ceremony.  This was for everyone else.  

 

 

**~Two Months Before the Wedding~**

 

Vivian sat in the bathroom on the lid of the toilet looking at the sixth little plastic pregnancy test.  Yes sixth.  She had four more she was perfectly willing to try, too.  She’d also taken pictures of the results to compare them to each other just in case she missed something.  She didn’t.  She was pregnant.  Again.  Even though the doctors told her with her condition, the fact she’d conceived the first time was nothing short of a miracle.  Maybe her kids were the second coming.  One Christ, one Anti-Christ.  Lord knows Julia could be either.  She put the test down and rubbed her face and began to laugh.  “Jesus.  What the fuck with his junk?”

Later that night, Ben flopped into bed with Vivian and leaned in for a kiss.  When he moved back he looked at her, smiling then it seemed like he was looking at her harder.  

“Have you been doing something different lately?”

“No.  Why?”

“You look…different.”

“Different how?”

“I don’t know.  You’ve just seemed more beautiful lately,” he smiled.  “Lucky me.  My wife gets more beautiful every day.”  He leaned in and kissed her again.

“You’ve said that to me before.  Do you remember?”

He thought about it, and his face went serious.  “It was just before you left me.  Because you were going to try to make it work with your ex because you were-“

Vivian smiled.

“You're?”

She nodded.

“Are you sure?”  His eyes wide with surprise.

“Pretty sure.  I have six pregnancy tests that all say positive.”

“Oh my God!  We’re having a baby!”

“We’re having a baby.  You and your bionic swimmers have done it again.  I guess I’m going to have to look into some birth control because you clearly don’t understand the infertile diagnosis.”

Ben wrapped himself around her, but not too tight, because baby.  “I’m so happy!”

“Me too.”

“We get to do this together this time.”

She nodded, tears welling and nose sniffling.  Fucking hormones…

“I love you!  I love you so much!”

“I love you, too.”

Two months later, they were married (again) in a lovely ceremony at a friend’s estate.  They even managed to avoid the press finding out.  They took a small honeymoon, because there would be no time once the baby arrived.  The secret baby!  The news was kept hidden until Vivian couldn’t hide it anymore.  When little Charlotte was born, and all the well-wishers had left and it was just Ben, Vivian and all the kids in the hospital room, Ben looked around at his family and smiled.

“We did good, kid,” he kissed Vivian on the top of her head.

She smiled up at him and looked around at the people she loved most in the world.  “We really did.”

 


End file.
